idiotic fallacies

"My heart is a brothel, it has many rooms." - said by a philandering character in Gabriel Garcia Marquez's books... when one simply likes too much things, this is the

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

Whoever You May Be

Aliah came up with a quote on her own and sent it to me the other day.

..."I'm afraid of losing you, whoever you may be.."

I like it so much that it will just pass through my thoughts at random hours these few days.

Do you believe in fate? I do. What if there is just one great love reserved for everyone in one's lifetime and if you blew it unwittingly that's it?

I hope that will never happen to me.

Monday, June 28, 2004


A friend send this over the net as a fwded mail, find this quite true, have a read.

The most destructive habit........................................Worry
The greatest Joy.......................................................Giving
The greatest loss.......................................................Loss of self-respect

The most satisfying work...........................................Helping others
The ugliest personality trait.......................................Selfishness
The most endangered species...................................Dedicated leaders

Our greatest natural resource..................................Our youth
The greatest "shot in the arm".................................Encouragement
The greatest problem to overcome..........................Fear

The most effective sleeping pill.................................Peace of mind
The most crippling failure disease............................Excuses
The most powerful force in life..................................Love

The most dangerous pariah......................................A gossiper
The world's most incredible computer.....................The brain
The worst thing to be without.... ..............................Hope

The deadliest weapon...............................................The tongue
The two most power-filled words.............................."I Can"
The greatest asset......................................................Faith

The most worthless emotion.....................................Self-pity
The most beautiful attire...........................................SMILE!
The most prized possession.......................................Integrity

The most powerful channel of communication.........Prayer
The most contagious spirit........................................Enthusiasm

Sunday, June 27, 2004

My heart is a brothel, it has many rooms.

there's always a fine line between pleasure and pain

What is it about human beings that we don't really go for the things we really want deep down and keep chasing after things that we don't really need so desperately instead?

In short I will part anything for you but you...

When you love somebody a lot, and you know that person loves you, that's the most beautiful place in the world.
Sometimes you know in your heart you love someone, but you have to go away before your head figure it out.
My Cherie Amour - Stevie Wonder
La la la la la la
La la la la la la
My Cherie Amour, lovely as a summer's day
My Cherie Amour, distant as the Milky Way
My Cherie Amour, pretty little one that I adore
You're the only girl my heart beats for
How I wish that you were mine
In a cafe or sometimes on a crowded street
I've been near you, but you never notice me
My Cherie Amour, won't you tell me how could you ignore
That behind that little smile I wore
How I wish that you were mine
La la la la la la
La la la la la la
Maybe someday you'll see my face among the crowd
Maybe someday I'll share your little distant cloud
Oh, Cherie Amour, pretty little one that I adore
You're the only girl my heart beats for
How I wish that you were mine
La la la la la la
La la la la la la


Or that it were possible after long grief and pain to find the arms of my true love around me again..


Saturday, June 26, 2004

Night and Day

Night and Day
-Ella Fitzgerald, Cole Porter

Like the beat beat beat of the tom-tom
When the jungle shadows fall
Like the tick tick tock of the stately clock
As it stands against the wall

Like the drip drip drip of the raindrops
When the summer shower is through
So a voice within me keeps repeating
You, you, you

Night and day, you are the one
Only you beneath the moon or under the sun
Whether near to me, or far
It's no matter darling where you are
I think of you
Day and night, night and day, why is it so

That this longing for you follows wherever I go
In the roaring traffic's boom
In the silence of my lonely room
I think of you
Day and night, night and day

Under the hide of me
There's an oh such a hungry yearning burning inside of me
And this torment won't be through
Until you let me spend my life making love to you
Day and night, night and day


Was reading Darren's latest entry and it was about Death, thus I will write about Life.

How should we live Life?

Of course, different people have different perceptives of how their lives should be lived, there is no right or wrong answer. Mother Theresa may gained spiritual fulfillment and contentment in life through devoting her life to missionary while my friend Theresa would rather die than give up her irc sessions.

One man's pain can be another man's pleasure.

Even literally.

The ultimate thing is finding out what makes you tick, gets you off, gaining contentment and bliss in life. Fabian believes it to be a porsche, playing majong everyday, and living in a condominium with his love by his side. All other entertainment can be sacrificed. I believed it to be with a interest satisfying job with adequate pay, my books, coffee, food, music, my friends, my love at my side and the freedom to do anything I wish to. Joann just wants her love by her side to brave what life brings to her together with him.

I personally does not have much interest in our education system. No doubt that it equipped one with skills that can enable one to find a job easier and even get a higher pay but it does not determine one's intelligence level truely. Whether a person have a shallow depth of thought can be seen through conversation. It shows lack of reflection. To live practically without reflection in life.. I think that's missing a lot.

How do one measure success in life then? Society deems that a successful person should be at the top of their working field or near it anyway, able to afford the luxuries in life like a nice car, apartment..etcetera.. but that's how society deems it to be. Such luxuries are nice to have but how about one's character, experience in exploration of the world? To live and die with only a narrow perspective on what the world is too much of a pity.

I would want to experience much of what life and the world has to offer. To be able to TRUELY live and feel alive instead of being bored and cynical, and when my time comes, I would not die regretting of not doing what I have pushed off doing.

Life to me comprises of a whole lot of things. I always thought I was confused and incoherent and sometimes too easily influenced.. on second thoughts I realised that it was because I just like too much things!

What does life means to you? To me, its:

Love. Friends. Family. Music. Books. Movies. Laughing. Singing. Dancing. Coffee. Songs. Jazz. Tea. Fun. Harmless Flirting. Guys. Girls. Making Love. Kisses. Hugs. Romance. Travelling. Night. Day. Day-dreaming. Night-dreaming. Relationships. Passion. Conviction. Reflection. Silly Thoughts. Naiveness. Happiness. Contentment. Bliss. Being Naughty. Being Loved. Falling in Love.

That's mine. What's yours? :)

Just the Way You Are

Just The Way You Are - Diana Krall

Don't go changing, trying to please me
You never let me down before
Don't imagine you're too familiar
And I don't see you anymore
I would not leave you in times of trouble
We never could have come this far
I took the good times, I'll take the bad times
I'll take you just the way you are

Don't go trying some new fashion
Don't change the color of your hair
You always have my unspoken passion
Although I might not seem to care

I don't want clever conversation
I never wanted to work that hard
I just want someone that I can talk to
I want you just the way you are.

I need to know that you will always be
The same old someone that I knew
What will it take 'till you believe in me
The way that I believe in you.

I said I love you and that's forever
And this I promise from my heart
I could not love you any better
I love you just the way you are.

Friday, June 25, 2004

Past entries under March

Have copy and paste past entries from livejournal to this webbie instead. You can read them under the month of March. :)

He loves and She loves

He Loves And She Loves - Fred Astaire
Lyrics:Ira Gershwin Music: George Gershwin

He loves and she loves,
And they love
so why can't you love
and I love like too?
Birds love and bees love
And whispering trees love,
And that's what we both should do.

Oh I always knew someday you'd come along,
We'll make a twosome that just can't go wrong,
Hear me
he loves and she loves
And they love so won't you
Love me as I love you?

Oh I always knew someday you'd come along,
We'll make a twosome that just can't go wrong,
Hear me
he loves and she loves
And they love so won't you
Love me as I love you?
Won't you love me, as I love you?

* of my favourite songs..shouldn't love be as simple and sweet as the lyrics?

Love ya sweeties~

Its time to introduce my two best friends to you all I think.


dumbass fabian

spastic joann

We were fooling around yesterday night at Starbucks and I got them to pose in their most idiotic expression ever ..gdness what we'll do when in a silly mood!I have to say this first, they are quite gd looking when looking normally so do not judge them on these pics..hehe..

I got to know Joann back when I'm primary 5..which means I've know her for 11 years. We weren't best friends always, in fact back then we hated each other's guts. I guess there's just a fine line between love and hate then, throughout the years we got closer due to a mutual friend and been that way eversince.

I got to know Fabian through a primary school friend, he's her classmate. Long story short, gotten close to him through a most hilarious situation which is just too long to be to know him for 7 years including this year.

I think that relationships and bonds between people may not last forever but if one wants it to, it must be maintained through effort. I always like to think of the worst in every senario and event but will try to have a positive outlook as well. Lost friends that I thought will be there for a long time as well, everyone does.

Read an view of an ex close friend that she does not believes in lasting friendships, if disagrees prove her wrong. Friendship like any other relationship that involves more than one needs effort from both parties in order to maintain it. There's no point of trying from one party and the other just cross their arms and remain skeptical.

These two people are in my life for a real long time and has been accepting me as I am good and bad for all these years, especially Joann.. for Fabian, he just likes to scold me a lot.*sulk* I never see the patience and the blind eye they have for all my foolish behaviour and arrogance in the past but now that i'm older and wiser, I've learnt to see all these now and realise what a bitch I was sometimes in the past.

Although they would never get to read this probably coz they don't surf the net... or rather rarely does. I would still like to say thank you to them for being here and that I love them. :)

Gazzy Gazzy where are you?

Was out with Joann two days back(wednesday)she's my best friend by the way..haven't been out with her alone eversince the love of her life Jason pops up.

We are really crapping a lot that day saying nonsensical things throughout the whole day, sprouting lame jokes and giggling madly... were on the train when we spy this really cute malay guy entering the train at bedok and sitting opposite us.

I was simply just checking him out madly when we hit on a idea to bluetooth him a pic.. or try to anyway since we do not know what his nick under bluetooth is. I bluetooth a mms of spiderman dancing in a queer way to this nick "Gazima" and acting nonchalent but it was pretty obvious we sent to i think. Moments later I received this photo back titled "Aaron Kwok"

have you seen him? :)

It doesn't look like Aaron Kwok to me though plus it looks like him..the same hair, eyes, complexion, but the pic is too "posey" for me to determine whether its him or not, plus I only received it just when we were about to leave the train.

So , bottomline, IF you do know this malay guy who thinks he looks like the young Aaron Kwok or goes aroud having the nick "Gazima" for his handphone, tell me! hee...

Thursday, June 24, 2004

Let's get it on~~~~

Physial human contact is vital in every person's life...

...including mine.

I can't believe how long it has been to kiss and cuddle with someone I love.. feeling deprived. haha.. let's just say there has been sooo many temptations and events that trigger this state, however am not interested in the "wham bang,thank-you-mdm" kind of solution, it doesn't work that way with me, feelings and affections must be there.

Mood of the day: definitely cheeky and flirty

Guess its time to go dating again, have been so lazy to go dating with guys this year.. well of course there's the heartache, but at least i've gotten over it and i'm free again~! When I think back.. can't help thinking how silly and foolish I was... that's why they say love is blind right?

Don't you think that the "get-to-know-you-sessions" are v.tiring sometimes? The same questions people ask over and over and over again...sometimes just wish people can just fill up a form answering all those questions exchange it when on the date and just start off with a more meaningful conversation from there onwards... but of course that will be too sterile too on second thoughts.

Have been listening to Marvin Gayne's "Let's Get It On" the whole day. THat song just compliments my mood exactly..hehe..

Marvin Gayne - Let's Get It On

I've been really tryin , baby
Tryin to hold back these feelings for so long
And if you feel, like I feel baby
Come on, oh come on,

Let's get it on
Lets get it on
Let's get it on
Let's get it on

We're all sensitive people
With so much love to give, understand me sugar
Since we got to be
Lets say, I love you

There's nothin wrong with me
Lovin you---
And givin yourself to me can never be wrong
If the love is true

Don't you know how sweet and wonderful, life can be
I'm askin you baby, to get it on with me
I aint gonna worry, I aint gonna push
So come on, come on, come on, come on baby
Stop beatin round the bush....

Let's get it on
Let's get it on
Let's get it on
Let's get it on

Well the song's damm nice as well..other than spurring naughty thoughts in my mind..haha.. :P

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

Just a Thought

Forgive and forget that's how this phrase is said and it means simply that. To forgive and to forget.

I do believe in forgiving but I don't believe in forgetting. Somethings can't be forgotten,and some should not be forgotten. To forgive do not neccessary means its wise to forget as well. There may be no grudges or bad blood left, but one should keep it tuck in the back storage of one's mind to remember and sometimes to remind to protect oneself as well.

Sunday, June 20, 2004

Choosing mates.. does dads really influence it?


Came across this article in msn. Thinks why I've always chose the men that I did was because of the lousy realtionship with my dad..hmm.. guess it's time to be smarter the next time then.

2 nights at Aloha~

Slept for 18hrs just now. For me that's a brand new record beating my last 16hrs four years ago. Spent the last two days at the class chalet. IT was great fun! Played lots of uno stackos.. uno. and learnt how to play bridge from wee keong.

faking a uno stacko fall .. and the emmy award winners are aliah, xiayan, helaine and wati!

We girls went for a walk while the boys cook and was chased by this ugly fearsome mutt.. there I was saying trying to be bave and telling them not to run and just try to keep quiet and walk away while i'm the one who is most afriad and they know it through my sqeaking quavering voice.. pathetic.. i was grabbing someone's arm tightly and asking them not to run endlessly while i'm the one who was about to run.. haha.. what can i say, i must protest, i really really have this aversion to great big dogs that look like that they gonna spring on me and bite my head off.

Went to the "Red House" reputably a haunted house which is probably thus due to the really antique design and that it is deserted for goodness know how many years. Afterwhich the girls watch the euro cup while the boys continues to cook.

Am pretty tickled by the fact that the girls are the ones watching soccer avidly while the boys cook intensely in the kitchen.. and i must say, and "boy" they CAN cook!

A bit peeved with myself for forgetting to take more pictures... but can always rely on the pictures that the others took i guess.

Thursday, June 17, 2004

I wana buy you flowers..

Aliah send me this song Flowers by Emile Simon the other day.. nice song. She's a frenchpop singer with a cutsey voice. This is her picture below.

emilie simon

Wanted to find a nicer photo of her but it's quite tedious as almost all the web pages featuring her is in french so have no idea where to click to get to the page where they would have her pictures. Finally came across one though so snagged it.

Flowers - Emilie Simon

I want to buy you flowers
it's such a shame you're a boy
but when you are not a girl
nobody buys you flowers

i want to buy you flowers
and now i'm standing in the shop
i must confess i wonder
if you will like my flowers

you are so sweet and i'm so alone
oh darling please
tell me you're the one
i'll buy you flowers
i'll buy you flowers
like not other girl did before

you were so sweet and i was in love
oh darling don't tell me
you found another girl
forget the flowers
because the flowers
never last for ever
never last for ever
never last for ever
my love

I always love music a lot.. believed them to be the food for my soul.. haha.. would attach the songs I'm listening to at the moment with each entry as soon as I learn how to. Until then, all these wonderful songs will be only for my listening pleasure then.. out.

RAnt RAnt RAnt

Woke up definitely in a bad mood by a crappy person calling me . I know it must be the irregular sleeping hours that I have been keeping these past few days as well, can get pissed off rather easily by dumb and rude people.

Is it so hard to find cultured intelligent people around here? Is it too hard to ask?

Apparently yes.

AM very pissed by people throwing their weight around and barking mad like a rabid dog just because they are in a bad mood. Exccccccccuuse me. If you are having a bad day you bratty little prat, just climb back into that hole where you come from and STAY there until you decide you can drop the asshole act and be try to be civilised again.

I really think people should be responsible in this area. If you are in a bad mood and start ticking people off, you influence other people's mood as well. Like mine at the moment. Indirectly but critically, you are causing a lot of unhappiness and bad karma.

Really starting to detest spolit pampered brats who only can be pushed to doing something after countless of flattering and pampering. Only then will then grudging do something which they ought to do but also without lots and lots of whining.

I am seriously not at peace with the world right now.

What I resembles right now

........really on a warpath here arn't I. I know I'm not exactly the most hardwroking person on the planet but at least I know my limits. Freak, my own brother laze around in bed all day long.. DON'T even bother trying to get him to get up from bed to do anything else other than TV or playing his beloved computer games. His lazy frame won't move for anthing else. My mum have absolutely no control over him, no one does. My sister can't take it and they had a bigggggggg "showdown" with dramatic shouting on my brother's part just now.

Result: Ding ding, brother wins.

Back to his nice comfy fluffy bed to roll about like an invalid.

He is 14 for goodness sake.

Will really feel better if i have a punching bag right now. At least I will be throwing my anger on it rather than someone else.


I was at the library earlier this afternoon studying for my literature. Fabian was accompanying me there as since he had already ORD and school haven't started for him... oh and he got into LaSalle.

So, there I was studying and there he was, flippng through books trying to read and looking bored and listless all the time when suddenly he shoved this book under my nose which features a picture interestingly showing a figurine of an australian aborigine.

oh man..

Oh yea.. you can say the natives there definitely do not have much room in their boxer shorts.. if wearing any other than a loin cloth in the first place. After seeing this picture, I was highly entertained by my over-zealous good-for nothing over-reative imagination for a few good minutes...

*adding on a few on comical situations*

...there it goes again. But do not misunderstand, as astounded as I was, I think I would freak out if guys start sprouting equipments with proportions like this. Quite a horrendous thought actually. Don't you think so?


What would you chose?

love at first sight?

Am feeling nostalgic today.. and in a rather dreamy mood, suspected that it has to do with the overdosage of medication taken to make myself feel better soon, ending result, I started to feel depress instead.

Have no idea why but was listening to Nat King Cole's 'Unforgettable' again and again and again... ahhh.. won't everyone in the world want to find someone like that and think of us as 'unforgettable" as well! the way we want of course *wry smile*

Have discovered that my thoughts drifted along to the lines of heartache, love and pain a lot these few weeks when ever I let it to just wander and let it to go "lassize faire". Can't be helped I guess, until I fell in love again or hopefully can just forget about him with time, I guess my broken heart will just keep reminding me of him constantly.

Isn't love just like a glass of red wine.. intoxicating, red and passionate, few can resist its alluring charm when it has gotten you hooked. The first breathe of the fumes one already experienced a mild heady feeling. The taste, sweet yet tinge with bitterness and sometimes an unwelcomed sourness but it just make the taste exceptionally unique as one gets to appreciate the sweetness even more... with the first sip, it flows down, filling you up with a certain kind of warmth, making one feels seemingly secured and comfortable. ..but, if taken in recklessly, with abandonment, if lucky,it can result in waking up the next day remembering one had a great night.. or spins one around so madly that you will lose all knowledge of reality or control and thus.. ends with a regrettable memory.

Its always hard and very dangerous to let oneself go and abandon all restrictions and place your happiness in someone else's hands. It leaves one weak and also gives the other party power to exert damaging hurt to one's feelings. The safest path, don't abandon yourself at all. But, this will make one lose the opportunity to experience true love and perhaps maybe even the happiest moments in one's lives. No one likes to be hurt but is it really worth it to sacrifice one's happiness just to be safe from that?

What would you do? To be suck into the whirlpool throwing all your happiness on a bet on this one person where the outcomes can be destructive or just stay put safely and take a sip once in a while without really knowing how it really feels like. I don't know either.

Unforgettable - Nat King Cole & Natalie Cole

Unforgettable, that's what you are
Unforgettable though near or far
Like a song of love that clings to me
How the thought of you does things to me
Never before has someone been more

Unforgettable in every way
And forever more, that's how you'll stay
That's why, darling, it's incredible
That someone so unforgettable
Thinks that I am unforgettable too

Unforgettable in every way
And forever more, that's how you'll stay
That's why, darling, it's incredible
That someone so unforgettable
Thinks that I am unforgettable too

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

Does an improvision in looks usually means a mark down in character?

One of my best friends used to be fat.Really fat, like around 110kg. But, a few years back he went on a drastic diet, eversince he dropped off the extra pounds, he swam constantly tanned himself and now became a sun bronzed cutie.

Of course it did great to his ego...and of course attractive quotient. There was just this one disturbing thing though, he became more tempremental, demanding and spolit, constantly demanding things his way and seldom really care how other people felt. My best friend has became the sterotyped high school arrogant "think that he's God's gift to women" jock.

I did think about the reason why... well, I think its because of the lesser need to please and make people like you. Universally known, TBO "the beautiful ones" do not need to spend a lot of time getting people to like and be their friends because peole naturally gravitate towards their beautiful aura, but the people with the more common visages (like me and the rest of the 80% of the world's population)tend to make a bit more effort into first impressions and a nice reputation coz.. hey, think about it, Helen, you know that girl whose face launched a thousand ships, other than knowing that she is simply THAT beautiful, do you hear people talk how nice she is, or how her jokes crack peole up all the time and such and such? I gurantee you will hear no such thing as " Yo, Helen! That's a great story you wrote about Jack and the Beanstalk.." instead whenever she appear, there will be an awed silence with plenty of thumping sounds as jaws dropped onto the floor and after that, pools of saliva all over the venue. I think it's be most practical for the chambermaids or her maids in waiting to bring mops with them to soak up the products of such "salivating appreciation" where ever she goes.

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

Excuse me.. I'm moving ON

Best I Ever Had - Vertical Horizon

So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring

Nothing's quite the same now
I just say your name now

But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't want me back
You're just the best I ever had

So you stole my world
Now I'm just a phony
Remembering the girl
Leaves me down and lonely

Send it in a letter
Make yourself feel better

But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't need me back
You're just the best I ever had

And it may take some time to
Patch me up inside
But I can't take it so I
Run away and hide
And I may find in time that
You were always right
You're always right

So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring

What was it you wanted
Could it be I'm haunted

But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
I don't want you back
You're just the best I ever had
The best I ever had
The best I ever

Good Morning Sunshine

I love mornings. Mornings are great, the mild glow of the morning sun lighting everything up, the air feel fresh, cool and breezy and there is still that silent hum of peacefulness.

What is best is now, sitting in front of the computer with just me, my coffee and my thoughts indulging in it all. I guess it can be considered one of the simple pleasures in my life. To be, mornings are just too short. Its pretty tough for a nocturnal night creature like me to wake up bright and early in the morning to enjoy the earliest parts of the morning that I loved the best of all. But hey, I've done it today! Great!

There is always something so positive about mornings. For nights, its enchanting and magical, fills your senses with weird quirky thoughts and harness overfestive imagination. For mornings, it fills one with freshness of mind and clear thoughts. Makes one feel alive and happy, at peace with the world.

To all that said that mornings are the best time to work and study, I say its a pity that they missed out on the best time to think and reflect. Well, not to despair, there's always the weekend mornings to look forward to then. :)

I'm in a mood for dreams

Have you ever sat there in the middle of the night and listening to romantic jazz songs.. or any romantic songs of your preferences, leaning out of your ungrilled window and staring down at that quiet empty street below and occasionally scanning across the twilight skies and just let your mind wander...

...standing at the window, you feel the night breeze gently carressing your face, the wind flowing through your hair, teasng the end tendrils of it, you close your eyes and enjoy the sensation of this invisble touch on your face, revelling in it, as you focus on its contact on your bare skin, right down to your eyelashes....

....the soft soothing strands of music reach your ears, enhancing the moment into magical splendour, you sink into this dreamy world of endless imagination. You dream.... dream of what you ever dreamed to be, dreamed of becoming what you hope for, what you desired, imagined in your mind what usually deemed unreal and fictious into reality...

This has always been one of my most favourite activities. Standing there in the middle of the night, listening to my favourite songs and indulge in dreams. Dreams that you experienced during sleeping as they say, transport people into a state of mind where their subconciousness tries to solve what has been troubling you and tries to solve them or maybe for guys just give them what their hormones been needed..wet dreams. Whatever kind of dreams one have while asleep, it's not withen our control to have the dreams we really want to have. So that is why, i idolised conscious dreaming so much, or in other terms, day-dreaming.

I don't really like to use the term day-dreaming as I usually like to "night-dream" instead. Its the quietness and serene atmosphere of the night that I love so much...I don't know about you but to dream at night makes it more surreal.

Dreaming is a wonderful thing, lack of dreams hinders one from learning creativity, having ambitions, progression, enjoying life fully... without dreams, one will turn into an empty shell with only information and possess no real thought, opinions and perceptives.

Some people might protest that dreaming is delusional. Well, dreaming begets motivation, and that is one of the key engery in life.

I'm happy to be a dreamer. I say let all dreamers never forget how to dream forever.

Dedicated to the one i loveD

I wish you love

Good-bye, no use leading with our chins
This is where our story ends
Never lovers, ever friends
Good-bye, let our hearts call it a day
But before you walk away
I sincerely want to say
I wish you bluebirds in the spring
To give your heart a song to sing
And then a kiss, but more than this
I wish you love
And in July a lemonade
To cool you in some leafy glade
I wish you health
But more than wealth
I wish you love
My breaking heart and I agree
That you and I could never be
So with my best
My very best
I set you free
I wish you shelter from the storm
A cozy fire to keep you warm
But most of all when snowflakes fall
I wish you love
But most of all when snowflakes fall
I wish you love
I wish you love, love, love, love, love
I wish you love
I really wish you love, really wish you love

Saturday, June 12, 2004

are we too fixatated on appearences?... oh yea.

The, car, card, condo, country club. The climb up the social ladder, Having the time of your life, the perfect spouse(the one that looks good enough to eat and leaves everyone drooling and patting you one the back with envy in their eyes).. to have it all. Come on wake up, in reality even Bill gates look like a slob and does not even have a gorgeous wife.

Through the endless conversations with countless of friends over coffee, although many wants to be able to afford the luxuries in life but deep down what everyone wants is for someone to love and to be loved. Yea the quote of moulin rouge, "to love and be loved in return"

However I find it quite humorous actually that inspite of so many people wanting that same thing yet so little people realising it. Isn't it suppose to be that the more people with the same purpose, the higher the chance that it is going to be fulfilled? Then if it is so,then why are so many people unable to find that one person that fills their heart with joy and vice versa?

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Well said. Could it be that we are all too fixated in the outer package that we can't be satisfied just by a great inner one?

Have a lot to say on on this one.. but to this point there is always too much arguements such as chemisty, or preferences, or " i just like them young and pretty with great highlights and grill" NO matter what, whatever reasons provided, remember, LOOKS do fade. Hey if you choose your future partner just based on physical outlook alone, i'm sure the marriage won't be smooth sailing and one may just start sticking one's finger in another pie in time to come when you get bored with the looks and find that you two have nothing in common.

I'm not saying that people don't appreciate the finer things like intelligence, moral fiber,integrity, kindness, but they don't get appreciate as much as looks. Think of how many times you banished a person with great character and competibility to the status of "just a good friend" just because he doesn't look that great.

I'm no saint, i do stand guilty of being superficial at times but hey, no one's perfect. Just hope that I can focus more in time about being more appreciative about what a person is than what a person looks.

Barry While - Let's Just Kiss And Say Goodbye

What can I say.. this song spells my sentiments....*wry smile*

This is got to be the saddest day of my life
I call you here today for a bit of bad news
I won’t be able to see you anymore
Because of my obligations and the ties that you have.

We’ve being meeting here everyday
And since this is our last day together
I wanna hold you, just one more time.

When you turn and walk away
Don’t look back
I wanna remember you, just like this
Let’s just kiss and say goodbye.
I have to meet you here today
There’s just so many things to say
Please don’t stop me ‘til I’m through
This is something I hate to do.

We’ve being meeting here so long
I guess what we’ve done, all was wrong
Please darling, don’t you cry
Let’s just kiss and say goodbye.

Many months have passed us by
(I’m gonna miss you) I’m gonna miss you, I can’t lie
(I’m gonna miss you) I’ve got ties and so do you
I just think this is the thing to do.

It’s gonna hurt me I can’t lie
Maybe you’ll meet, you’ll meet another guy
Understand me, won’t you try, try, try, try, try, try, try
Let’s just kiss and say goodbye.

(I’m gonna miss you) I’m gonna miss you, I can’t lie
(I’m gonna miss you) Understand me, won’t you try
(I’m gonna miss you) It’s gonna hurt me I can’t lie.

taking a break off from sentimantal reasons...

WEll..I have decided. It's time to face up to the truth and realise that some things are just not meant to be. As painful as it is going to be, I think its time to let go of a person that just ain't worth my time.

Retribution or just plainly de ja vu, what goes around comes around? I know why it has turned out this way is the same as what I have tell myself about the countless of guys before him. The feelings, it was wasn't enough. Not enough. This time, however, the tables are turned and this time its me sobbing my shredded heart out and thinking why. Well, you just can't force feelings out of another right? When a person says that he likes you, he does, but do nothing about about it, don't think too much into complexing issues of "why" and "mind games?". Yea, he likes you, but as simply put, the feeling he has for you just is not enough for him to go on to a deeper level of relationship with you.

In the beginning, it was wonderful, I thinked about him 24/7, looked forward to every call, cherished every sms, walked around with a smile on my lips and a glow on my face. Afterwhich, when he turned more distant, the heartache began. The crying till late into the night, depression, the heart wrenching feeling, the insufferable feeling of not being able to breathe properly ... and the sudden awareness of how many lovey dovey smoochy disgusting couples there are around you where ever you go.

Its was one of the lowest points in my life. Before him, I do not really think i lack anything in my life, but after he he gone.. there is the irritating feeling of hollowness and emptiness that can't be filled.

Fuck it.

Fuck it I say. He's gone and if I had meant anything much to him, he wouldn't be. So its time that I wake up from this delusion tht he may come back and tell me he needs me a lot.

And on a positive note, look at all the other charming swinging bachelors that I have close myself to these couple of months!

Its time to make myself happy.

I have to admit, I do not think I will forget him that easily in the near future, he will remain there, tuck into that folder under bittersweet memory.