idiotic fallacies

"My heart is a brothel, it has many rooms." - said by a philandering character in Gabriel Garcia Marquez's books... when one simply likes too much things, this is the

Monday, October 25, 2004

Question - 97s

Question -- Old 97s

She woke from a dream
Her head was on fire
Why was he so nervous?
He took her to the park
She crossed her arms
And lowered her eyelids

Someday, somebody's gonna ask you
A question that you should say "yes" to
Once in your life
Baby, tonight I've got a question for you

She'd had no idea
And started to cry
She said "in a good way"
He took her by the hand
Walked her back home
And they took the long way

Someday, somebody's gonna ask you
The question that you should say "yes" to
Once in your life
Maybe tonight I've got a question for you

I've got a question for you...

Saturday, October 23, 2004

My fernleaf cup said "New Zealand cows breathe fresh air.. Duh.

Well I did say yesterday that I would make a list of all the things I want (or I hope I will) to accomplish in my bloody glamourous exciting (sic) lifetime.


1. Be the first female President in Singapore.
.. on second thoughts better not, but hey if you feel like having a radical President for a change, this is what I will PROMISE to do if I'm President.

a) make gay and lesbian marriage legal
What? Hey, I just want to be made a bridesmaid more often.. and the thought of seeing my gay best friend in a wedding dress always bring tears of laughter.. oh no joy to my eyes.

I just want to make this dream a reality why not?

Think about it, vote for me if you share my dream.

b)lower alcohol tax
ciggies are bad.. but alcohol? It just keeps one h a P p Y. Why deny the pleasure of the 7th heaven of drunkeness to the less wealthy? If they want to a night of foolishness or idiocracies and having one of the best unrigid fun night in exchange of facing the consequences of mild: an afternoon of hangover, medium: keeps banging head on wall due to recalling doing some unthinkable acts eg. smooching or even *gasp* woke up with a ugly dwarf hugging your naked body and giving birth to a dwarfish baby 9 months later, or worst: any senario that will leave you demented and mentally unstable for life.

Usually most alcoholics just fell into the mild catergory, personally, my worst drunk experience.. wait a minute, there is no worst one. All of them are all cringingly memorable in its own interesting way. Like the time when I 16 and dancing on the platform at ceased to be gay club Niche, I got so drunk that I doubled over and puked at the side of the platform, spend the next 45 minutes hugging the toilet bowl and slept outside the club with my friends around me talking and eating prata and only waking up at 6am dishevelled, bleary eyed and instead of looking like a glamour puss (that I should) .. look like a transvestite after a long night of work.

Perhaps its the stubble that gave that impression then.

Ahh, the joys of the drink. So potent, dangerous yet forgiving.

3. Travel the world
Who doesn't right? Also, I hate tour groups, they always make me feel like I'm in a sheep ..the whole group are sheeps and they are just herding us from one place to another. You never get to go where you want to go , always miss out on some destinations and always did not have enough time to look at the places you arrive to see before you are bundled into the bus to dash off to someplace else.

4. Meet (and date) Colin Firth and Hugh Grant
Its a dream, but hey, we should always try to dream big dreams right? Yeah.

Shit... spent too mch time writing crap so running late now. Will try to complete list by tomorrow then. Toodles.

Friday, October 22, 2004

What a boring life

My fucking exams are in freaking 13 days time counting today as well. Everyday some boozo will ask me " So Sam, how's the preparations for exams? Doing well?" Well, what do you expect me to reply? Give a thumbs up and say "Groovy"?

Nah, my mum always tell me never to lie.And being the good obedient daughter that I am, I don't.Except in cases where it is to my best interest to, for example lying to my folks to get more money or lying to get out of an appointment that I do not want to.

Its always better to tell your friend, "Erm, hey sorry I'm too busy at the moment." while surfing the net aimlessly searching intelligent crap to read than "Hey, sorry I'm just not in the mood to put up with you, you boring unintelligent piece of human trash." .. in a nicer way of course.

Ah hah, I know what are you thinking right now, "Oh my GOd, Sam's such a MEAN BITCH!!! Shit, you mean the last time when she said that she's too busy because she was helping this grandma cross the road but because she bound her feet and am really really obese so her ant-like feet can't really support her elephant-like body is false?How can I be so fucking NAIVE?!?!? Fuck! I think I have no courage to live on decently as a normal human being anymore!".. and hurl yourself headfirst down a 20 storey building while doing a few somersaults because you want to show off that you can(you egotistical brainless loveable ass) before you smash your head into the pavement and splattering brain juices everywhere (not that they are valuable anyway) on the innocent passerbys making them feel bloody irritated because this means that they have to go home and change.

Come on, at least wait till the pavement's deserted and tie yourself up in a sack first so at least all the cleaners need to do is to drag the sack away instead of scrapping your body bits off the streets.


Hmm.. I wonder, how would I look like if I turn butch? Since my bloody friends always ask me whether I'll turn fucking lesbian maybe I'll just cut off all my hair, buy a leather jacket, a breast binder ... hell I'll just borrow one from Veron my gd friend who is a butch (she's very pretty too btw) and find myself a girlfriend to have sex with me during Christmas.

What will you wish for if you can get one wish ?
If I can get a wish, I'll wish that I'll turn into a handsome guy, I'll have a penis for a week, no make that a month just to get into the male psyche.

..oh yeah...and have sex with a few girls at the same time as well. Hah!


Hmm, I think it's time that I start making a list of all the things that I want to do before I turn old and croak. Maybe I'll write that tomorrow.

Freak, its 3pm.. need to go pretend study while idly dreaming of a glorious future ahead.

Instant Pleasure - Rufus Wainwrigh

Instant Pleasure
by Rufus Wainwrigh

I don't want somebody to love me
just give me sex whenever I want it
'cause all I ask for is instant pleasure
instant pleasure, instant pleasure

You in traffic for all eternity
how could that speed be where you wanna be
said don't you really want instant pleasure
instant pleasure, instant pleasure

Think that all these folks get laid
do it 'cause the pain is great
what you thinkin anyway?
If drinkin coffee is your idea of really cool
you can't expect no crazy
chick to notice you just sittin there
dreaming instant pleasure
instant pleasure, instant pleasure
instant pleasure, instant pleasure

If you want someone a friend to be
guess you'll have to win the
lottery but till then repeat after me
I don't want somebody to love me
just give me sex whenever I want it
'cause all I ask for is instant pleasure
instant pleasure, instant pleasure
instant pleasure, instant pleasure
(fading) instant pleasure, instant pleasure
i dont want somebody to love me
i dont want somebody to love me
i dont want somebody to love me
(fading to end)

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Giddy up

Yeah I know I told some of you that I'm shutting down this blog and create and entirely new one. (out with the old in with the new.. hell whatever) but taking another shot I guess.

Come on, I am kind of sentimental. Not easy just to press the delete this blog button... although I still will some day. HaH!


Ok, I don't know how many of you have actually seen the movie, "Head Over Heels" starring Freddie Prinze Jr, and Monica Potter. It was showing on HBO last month. The only person I know who watched that movie before is Aliah.

Typically, yes as the title suggested it is a movie where a boy meets a girl and BAM, falls in love and at the end of the movie sees the two of them snuggling together looking content and happy while staring deeply into each others eyes.

Well, fuck Monica Potter, I want to be the one staring deeply into Freddie Prinze Jr's eyes. *sulk*

Actually the only reason why I like the movie is because of Freddie. Just look at him, how can ANYONE resist him!

I envy the girl acting as Buffy in the hit drama series "Buffy the Vampire Slayer".The only reason why I envy her is because she is married to Freddie Prinze Jr.

I think I fell in love with him while watching the movie, "She's All That".

Ok, I'm digressing, because this is not what I want to talk about, just momentary distracted by the beautiful beautiful gorgeous vision of Freddie.


Back on track, in the movie, "Head Over Heels", there is this scene where Freddie first met Monica while taking his neighbour's dog out for a walk. The dog was so horny when it met her, actually pounced on her while trying to mount her from behind. So there is this shot of the not so lovely Monica on her fours with the dog humping her behind.

Yes, although the shock factor is there, but that is absolutely the most disgusting shot I've ever seen.

.. okok I know I've seen worse, but what makes it disgusting is because I was totally unprepared for it.

Come on, it is one thing to see it on on the internet in a porn website, but hell, an nc16 movie? Most probably the director knows that the movie blows even if he have Freddie Prinze Jr so decides to throw in that scene to wake the people that are almost falling alseep.

Imagine senario:

14 year old kid: Mummy, what is that dog doing to the lady?
Mummy: Erm, nothing Honey, the dog is just playing with the pretty lady.
14 year old kid: Mummy, can I play this game with Biff (the house dog) as well?
Mummy: (shouting across to husband) Honey, get rid of the dog tomorrow will you!


I'm not saying that every child with a dog who seen this will want to try it, but I think that is so done in bad taste.

Romantic comedies are suppose to supply the romance and the illusion that such spontanous and picture perfect love exist, just like fairy tales delude you by always ending with "..and they live happily ever after."

If I want to watch porn or beastility, I would download it from the net, rather than sitting there preparing to be deluded and then see a dog trying to get it on with the actress.


Oh, and I've just seen this video clip of the randy horse chasing this farmer from behind while trying to pull his drooping jeans down, and in the end manage to sit on him and hump him.

And my friend is going to send me this one of a guy making a fish give him a blowjob...

Yuk.. but

.. that is funny shit!

Walk On By - Aretha Franklin

Walk On By
Aretha Franklin

If you see me walking down the street
And I start to cry each time we meet
Walk on by, walk on by
Make believe
That you don't see the tears
Just let me grieve
In private 'cause each time I see you
I break down and cry
And walk on by (don't stop)
And walk on by (don't stop)
And walk on by

I just can't get over losing you
And so if I seem broken and blue
Walk on by, walk on by
Foolish pride
Is all that I have left
So let me hide
The tears and the sadness you gave me
When you said goodbye
Walk on by
And walk on by
And walk by (don't stop)

Walk on by, walk on by
Foolish pride
Is all that I have left
So let me hide
The tears and the sadness you gave me
When you said goodbye
Walk on by (don't stop)
And walk on by (don't stop)
And walk by (don't stop)

Thursday, October 07, 2004

Pissed? Me? Oh no.. I'm free as a bird.

"Hate is baggage, Life's too short to be pissed off all the time." - Danny Vinyard - American History X-

That's the way love.

Dialogue between Emotion and Caution

Too weary to write..I can't .. consider. I feel trapped..strapped.. I want to .. .. sweetie... be careful ..stop. But I didn't .. I know.. Trivialites.. stick to that.. stick to that honey. But I don't mean to do anything bad. I am nice... I am.. its nothing right? Stop. Frustrated. Why? Its was nothing! And its was not meant for... I know.. stop. Maybe I'm just too.. I don't know.. put in what you will. I'm tired. I really am. I don't want to make effort anymore. I don't want to be nice anymore. I don't want to live on hope anymore. I just want to be me. I just want to be happy.I thought I can..this.. Tears fall, but why should they fall so? Really upset.. why can't I see humour in it as usual? Because it meant a lot to you I want to laugh it off.. but my heart is too heavy..raw.. The screen is too blurry.. oh the tears..why are they still falling? I can't laugh. I feel so hollow. I can't open myself up again. Its too painful... I can't speak. Can't do anything.. why are the tears still falling??!! I can't get emotional... but I feel so weak now. I'm splintering.... My heart is splintering. I can't believe I've sat here for 4 hours just for this.. ... .. my heart is crying out... help.. save me.. I can't take this.. I'm bursting.. its too overwhelming for me to bear.. Stop..too much.. How can I feel in such extremes .. and how can I let.. No. God I'm so useless. Forget it.. The tears... why can't they stop... Move on.. No i can't.. Detach yourself. Forget it. It doesn't matter... you have more important things to do. This is important to me.. it is. You know nothing can come out of it. You know that perfectly well. Forget it sweetie. How can I? I know... but..but.. you are right. I just got carried away. Dry them..

Dried. Ashes to ashes.. dust to dust... I will. Fine? I will be.. as always.. Good. See I'm fine already. I always will be.

The Beach and the Sea

What do you do when you are suffering from a writer's block?

I am. I am simply at a loss for what to write.. nevermind I'll think of something.


The beach and the sea

The beach and the sea are good friends. At all hours, the sea would always rush up the shore to say hello to the beach and lovingly carass it when it went away. Never will it stay away for long, and the coast loves the attention that the sea gives it.

Each time the sea rushes up to visit the coast, it would whisper some sweet nothings to the beach, give it beautiful presents like pretty seashells and soon the beach was enthralled.. The beach soon yearn for the sea's arrival each time it left and that it would stayer longer instead of just rushing in and out so quickly.

The sea smiled when the beach express this but as usual without changing rushes in and out quickly and still whispering sweet words to the beach.

The beach decides to go move nearer to the sea so the sea could stay longer.. deeper and deeper it went into the sea and more and more it wants for the sea to stay.

The beach doesn't realise that the sea cannot stay, it is its nature and it cannot be changed, also that slowly the beach itself is eroding away as the waves now became stronger as the beach moves down to be nearer to the sea. "move away.. stay away.." the sea said, but still the beach press on.

Soon in time, the beach has lost so much of herself into the sea that she is now just a shadow of her former self.


When is moving too close resulting in it being detrimental then? You decide.

Sunday, October 03, 2004

The Importance of being EARNEST.. and practical

"My Blurred Life"

Yesterday I went out with Shan to "Round Midnight". Its a jazz bar featuring a live band and I have to admit its good, especially the jamming sessions which only start after 3am.

I met this interesting guy called Hugh last night, He's from New Zealand and only been here for 6months. Had a really nice and wonderful talk with him last night.. coz he's just a great conversationist which is really hard to find for me!Although we talked a lot, but the main thing that strucks me the most about the whole conversation is how little I know about Singapore.

He has only been here for 6 months and he knows much more about the politics of Singapore than I do! Yes, I do admit I'm a v.non-serious person who only likes to indulge in songs, music , books, food, theatre and movies.. but hell, at least I should know more about my own country right?

But also it may be also what he say when you go to a new country, you tend to see things with new eyes thus am more interested in finding out about things.

Guess I have been taking my country for granted. *wry smile*


I love my country and I would seriously discriminate people who turn their noses up at it or locals who keep on blamming Singapore and ratter on and on about how wonderful living in other countries is. Its like having wonderful parents who love you and take gd care of you but still dreams of having your friends' parents instead just because they are more appealing to you in certain aspects. I find politics interesting at times, but I guess I always had things that I rather do and indulge in than reading up on it. I don't make the effort.

But I'm getting better, Humaize the PAP supporter can be always counted on to educate me on the political aspects here since he's heavily active in it.. :)


I'm a leech.. a lazy learner. I suck up other people's wisdom to gain my own.

But that's not an excuse! My lack of knowledge of current news is simply apalling..haha.. guess have to start putting down the ze books of fancy and start reading up on books that are more practical and important to mankind.

Subject of books to start reading up on:

1. financial market
2. technology
3. singapore's political history
4. ..any other country's political history
5. dummies guide to stocks and shares
6. war
7. .....and etcetera that I have not thought of yet.

Give me till end of the year to start sprouting statistics and numbers and give my comments about how well or how poorly goverments from other countries are doing, our economic development, nasdex.. and such and such wicked taxing stuff.

.....if I haven't bore myself to tears through this process of mind improving self improvement by then.

I must perservere! Its obvious through my blog that all the things I write about is love.. yadda yadda yadda.. bitching.. yadda yadda yadda.. crap.. yadda yadda yadda.. fiction stories.

I shall be a intellectual well rounded individual who will have my finger firmly inserted into the whirlpool of society's self invented idiocracies and self burden..ridiculous but since everyone says its so important, it must be then.

If you can't beat them. Pretend to join them.

I wonder if my set of the Bluffer's guide to all these subjects be more than sufficient.


The lack of sleep is getting to me.. I'm getting incoherent my mind is starting to get filled with images of Tellytubbies, jellybeans and Popeye making love to Ernie.... needs Zzzzz..

..ok that last one was a joke but anyway.. gd night everybody.

Friday, October 01, 2004

"Dirty" story

A guy friend of mine commented to me the other day.

"Sam arz.. why your blog so..scandalous sometimes one arz? I very uncomfortable reading the part in Zen and Greg where the what Leong ask the mole woman to take her clothes off leh..and I think you sometimes too opinionated. If too opinionated later all guys scared off by you...aiyo and if you want to write something kinky and write a bit more exciting or not.. not shiok leh."

Think the reason why he was uncomfortable with it it that the woman is ugly and it was not racy. No guy wants to imagine ugly people having sex. It "depresses" them. If I had wrote a different story deciphering the woman being extrordinary pretty and the man damm handsome and that they are having a secret hot affair, the reactions will be different.


"You are late today.." he murmered as he pressed his nose into her hair to smell the perfume lingering there.

"Rick stopped by the office just now to take me out to dinner. He has been treating me extra nice these couple of days.. I'm afraid he is getting suspicious of us. Ahhh.." she scream softly with delight as his nails dig into her thigh and slowly travel up.
"Close the door.. what if someone passes by..?"

"No one will, not at this hour they won't. ANd what can they do if they see it, I'm still their boss." He smiled down wickedly at her and carried her to sit on his desk.

"No not here! What if someone sees us? Oh .."

With one fluid hand motion, he swept everything off the desk onto the floor. He stood in front of her and pushes her knees apart, pushing up her skirt at the same time to position himself close against her.
"I don't care, you are mine. I have to have you now." he starts unbuttoning the buttons of her silky white shirt to reveal the black lacy bra inside, and kisses her neck while he pushes her down onto the desk...


I have to stop.. I'm blushing madly at this point.

But you get the difference?

Its just a mild example. But I think maybe its the part where the guys imagine the fat mole woman doing it with a ugly fortune teller freak them out. My dear friend don't get that that part in "Zen and Greg" is supposed to make you feel mildly uncomfortable not horny. You are supposed to feel disgusted and mildly disturbed by them, not because they are ugly but because what they are doing is wrong and the fortune teller is making her doing it against her will.

As for the above paragraph, if I had written it in a more explicit and detailed way creatively using diction like " lick", "suck" , "dick", "fingered", "breast"," nipples", "balls" and etcetera, I'm sure there will be comments for encore.

But this is my blog, and I can jolly well write everything I want. I'm writing for my pleasure not yours.

Thus unless I get paid really good for writing dirty stories otherwise I don't really relise the idea of purposely writing to benefit guys blowing their loads off on my words. It will be like indirectly giving them a handjob which I am not exactly jumping in my seat to perform.

Also,why should I be less opinionated? Again, its my blog, not yours. I write mostly for my own self amusement. Yes, although I admit that sometimes I write to amuse others but there MUST be the element of amusing myself to write it. If I'm not interested in writing something no matter how much it'll make you happy, I won't do it. Write your own if it makes you happy.

Writing in a safe, mundane way not only makes me feel bored and uphappy with myself for being such an uncharacterless person, I don't think anyone who read it will feel its interesting as well.


Today, I woke up at 9am. Was feeling very tired still so I went back to sleep for another hour. I had lunch yesterday with Helaine, Xia Yan, Suhara, Aliah, Wanru and Mariam. I have rice with black pepper fish and veggies. Not bad lah. I didn't do much yesterday after that but go back to school to study with Mariam. I think I will go out later to study. Will update what I did later when I get back..hee.. :)


I find that highly unentertaining.

So conclusion: If you like what you read, thank you v.much. If you don't then don't read it then. The worst cases are always those that keep criticizing yet keep on coming back to read. What's your problem?

I get that feeling that they want to reform me to be like the typical demure girl. Sweet, simple (on the surface..haha..come on don't keep yourself in the delusion that you are!). The reason why they keep coming back to read even though they claim that it's full of crap is because they like it mah.... or they have nothing better to do, so grudgingly waste their time reading my blog and feel superior by pointing out mistakes.

Hehehehe... well, anyway, whatever you think of it, thanks for stopping by to have a read then. :)

Happy Birthday Helaine~!

Yesterday went snappy snappy with my camera phone again!

Yes its all me and Helaine.. pretty hor? Hehe...

We are at this makan place somewhere near Clementi? No idea where is it actually because I'm a east sider instead of a west sider. Went there with Suhara, Aliah, Xia Yan, Wanru, Mariam and of coz Helaine.

"Hey, where are the other people then?"

Well, I did say I have a camera phone right? I was having my si bei hiao mood and was happy snapping away at myself. Poor Helaine was sitting beside me so was forced to take photos with me. The poor thing, I was dissatisfied with so many photos ( also because of Mariam's lousy photo taking skills..haha) that we took like 10 over photos for me to get satisfied with these 3.

The poor girl lips kana cramp from smiling too much.

Oh and its Helaine's brithday yesterday! Happy Birthday Helaine!!! So pretty this year so will also be prettier as the years roll by! Like me!!!

I was v.tempted to post the other SWEET photo of Helaine with another person.. but sigh.. the goodness of my heart prevented me from doing it so publicly...

BUT! Anyone interested in seeing a naughty photo of Helaine can email me and I can email the photo to you!

Posting it in my blog will be will getting caught red handed but doing it behind her back would not count....hehe..

Yes, I know you are reading this Helaine, don't worry I won't email the photo to anyone lah.

*Pssst..remember people..discretion!*

Zen and Greg 2

Thus, Kok Xiong grew up in an extremely doting family. Whatever he wanted, he will get it, money is not the issue as the family is rich. His father is the only son in his family and thus inherited the whole of his family's shipping business. Kok Xiong's sisters being females, were not valued as much as him, in fact, not as all. They were invisible in their father's eyes. It was not clear whether they had swallowed their bitterness and anger and resigned to fate or just nonchalent about it as they have never expressed their thoughts or try to fight for their father's affections before. Towards Kok Xiong, they never question why he have been favoured much more than them and have accepted that it is thus, that their little brother must have done something to deserve this, thus they dote upon him excessively as well. Their mother, a much slimmer woman now due to the stress and the terrible burden of fear she has been carrying with her is just a silent sprite in the house.


Two streets away, a family just moved in - the De Cruz. They just migrated from Australia to Singapore as Mr Cruz has been posted here by his company to work for long term. Their's is a happy family, Mr Cruz, Mrs Cruz and Greg. Greg is their only child at the moment, a few years later though they did have a daughter named Christine, but for now, its just Greg.

Greg's Dad met Greg's Mother when he went out to buy a cup of coffee. The weather was bad that day, halfway home, it started raining and Greg's father took shelter underneath a bridge. Moments later,another drenched person seeking for shelter joined him underneath the bridge. It was Greg's mother. Greg's Dad, noting that she seems cold and shivering visibly, shared his cup of hot coffee with her. They spend the next hour underneath the bridge sharing that cup of coffee and talking. After the rain stopped, he send her home and went home, whistling on the way while tightly clutching the piece of paper with her phone number written on it. After a year of dating, Greg's Dad proposed to Greg's mother on her birthday, arranging the whole of the restaurant staff to sing happy birthday to her and kneeing down to propose with a two carat diamond ring. They spent their honeymoon touring the whole of Europe and loved both Paris and Venice the best as the two cities seemed to represent the love they have for each other. Needless to say, it was a very happy marriage and they are very much in love. Nine months later, Greg was born.

[to be continued]