idiotic fallacies

"My heart is a brothel, it has many rooms." - said by a philandering character in Gabriel Garcia Marquez's books... when one simply likes too much things, this is the

Saturday, July 31, 2004


Why Why Why...!!!

Let me backtrack. For starters, I have a ONE week mc. Give me that a few months ago you would have seen me kicking in the air for joy, and brandishing it like a trophy for all to see and let my envious friends wrilt in my beaming light of happiness radiating off my gloating visage.

But noooo fate is so cruel to me. At the moment, it's wriggling its big ugly fat bottom in my face and going "nanay nanny boo hoo"

I have a case of really really bad sore eyes.

Don't underestimate it. It is really bad! I can't even open my eyes yeaterday for goodness sake. I even find the semblence of light in a totally dark room glaring. My sensitivity for light was even worse than a dying vampire... assuming that what we read always that vampires can't abhore the light is true.

Went to the polyclinic yesterday morning, the doctor who saw me thinkit was so bad that she referred me to changi hospital immediately to check for ulcers or any kind of cornea damage..scared me for a moment there too!.. so thank god its just a really bad case of sore eyes. My eyes were so painful and sensitive though..! Had to rely on my mum on the journey back home coz I can't open my damm eyes at all. Felt like I'm actually blind for real.

Backtrack again. Went to Zouk on wednesday. I was soooo drunk.. and I had only 2 glasses! My alcohol tolerance used to be way better than that.. *sulk*.

..eyes starting to irritate me again.. time to wrap the cloth around my head to play the role of the blind man again... sighhhh..

Tuesday, July 27, 2004


Overjoy   -  Stevie Wonder

Over time, I've been building my castle of love
Just for two, though you never knew you were my reason
I've gone much too far for you now to say
That I've got to throw my castle away

Over dreams, I have picked out a perfect come true
Though you never knew it was of you I've been dreaming
The sandman has come from too far away
For you to say come back some other day

And though you don't believe that they do
They do come true
For did my dreams
Come true when I looked at you
And maybe too, if you would believe
You too might be
Overjoyed, over loved, over me

Over hearts, I have painfully turned every stone
Just to find, I had found what I've searched to discover
I've come much too far for me now to find
The love that I've sought can never be mine

And though you don't believe that they do
They do come true
For did my dreams
Come true when I looked at you
And maybe too, if you would believe
You too might be
Overjoyed, over loved, over me

And though the odds say improbable
What do they know
For in romance
All true love needs is a chance
And maybe with a chance you will find
You too like I
Overjoyed, over loved, over you, over you

Monday, July 19, 2004

Is Timing Everything?

"ahoy mate"
Recently conversations between girlfriends are revolving around missed ships, basically guys that you almost boarded but in the end sailed off without you and even worse, with someone else. 
Every singleton is like a ship in harbour waiting to sail off with the next person on deck on a journey of unpredictable weather forecast. The matter is to meet someone at the right time.
Is timing everything in order to get hold of a ship that wants to sail good?
One of my girfriend said that for her case, the ship in question wants to sail but she still wants to tour around to see what's available. In the end, when she have finally made up her mind to sail, the ship has left.
Another wanted to sail right away, but the ship in question have not got rid of its last cargo yet. She sailed off in another ship in the end. 
For my case, in the past, I wanted to sail, he does not, and he even literally sailed off to another country.
Now, there is this other ship that keeps giving the signal of wanting to sail right away but everytime when I thought it will, some crisis comes up to postphone the journey. Initially was willing full heartedly to sail out with him but now, the rush of feelings have died down a lot. Do not even know whether will board it in the end anymore seeing the confusing unstability of this particular ship..
Anyway, I say that timing has to do with everything. Its already not that easy for 2 people to connect. If you do find that certain someone who makes your heart skip a beat and brings a glow to your face and a smile to your lips, stop thinking about the other ships anymore. Of course, if you still do want to check out the other ships lining up to make sure you are making the best choice, just make sure you don't wipe your tears when you turn around and see that your pass has expired and your ship has left the harbour. If its the other way round and the ship that you set your sights on does not want to sail, that's his problem, there's always the lines of available ships still docking at the habour right? ;)
~Bon voyage~

Does a overdramatic show of devotion always proves that one is religious? I think not.

Do you really believe or is this just an act of habit? 
Ever been to a church recently?   
Had a friend who went to a church service 2 weeks ago and told me of her experience there. Basically there was a lot of worshippping which comprises of a lot of screaming, tears, antagonised expressions..even going weak at the knees and fainting. 
What I want to know is what happened to all the good wholesome services where people just go there to worship peacefully, listen to the pastor preach and go home with no smudged mascara and feeling peaceful? 
I am not someone that goes to church on a regular basis nor do I count myself as a christian. I do think that everyone have gone to such services at least once in their lives.   
Is there really a need to go all hysterical when praying?   
If there is, how come they don't do that in the past?   
I've been to a few chruch services here courtesy of my christian friends who feel they need to introduce some spiritual guidance in my life. Don't get me wrong, I am not anti-christ, I do believe there's a creator. Nothing can come out of nothing right? 
Some really anti-God people have asked me how was God created then?   
HOw would I know? I'm not God. Ask Him yourself after you have taken your last breathe.   
No matter how many theories or ideas one may have about the source of existance of God.. or us, that's just a whole load of speculations. Unless God just come beaming out from the fluffy clouds like the ones we see in cartoons or the old version of Hercules and say " Yoo hoooo!" no one can actually know is He there or not. That's where the Faith kicks in.   
I think it's a onion peel theory and we are only the outer surface of it.   But anyway, I just think there's a creator, end of story, and that everyone's been praying to the same Creator although there are so many versions of it.   
Ok, back to the current show of antagonised undying devotion.   
I think this intense show of emotions is encouraged for cultivating passion in the church go-ers. Come on, anyone can cry and look deeply engrossed in praying and such, but does everyone who did that really devoted? I do not think so.       
Its all such a BIG display just for appearences sake. I'm not saying that everyone there is a fake but there are more than a few. I've seen people who sinned so much in that week yet suddenly turns to an angel on sunday.. and the cycle continues. It's as if they have to show it because everyone's doing that, the crying, singing happy, and may I say again, the antagonised look.. as if they have constipated for 3 months.. or have seen the face of an angel right THERE.   
There was one point in my life where I had go to this particular chuch regularly, main reason I went there is because I like their preaching...but there's a hitch. They believe in the show of emotions mentioned aboved.   
I must admit, I did fake looking emotional and spiritual and entirely touched..sometimes.   
Hey, I was under pressure.. coz everyone's doing it!Haha..  
But I did feed my my need for spiritual guidance though.. the service and preaching is good..but having to go there every week to be a mediacorp  actress in training, bad.   
I have to say though, this new way of church service has been pretty effective, especially for youngsters. If the strategy's good and more flock has been led in by the shepherd, why not right?   Makes me wonder sometimes that does this need of overdramatic expression reflects the need for affections for the people here thus need to compensate by bursting it out in this fashion coz hey, you can't really do that in a relationship without the other party thinking you are a psycho right?   
A lot of blogs that I read reflects that actually there is a lot of lonely people out there. People are required to be able to keep emotions in check at all times to give image of a self possessed, cultivated, civilised rational person.Praying to God is perhaps the only way that one can just let go one's emotions at full force without being judged by people or making them feel that you are sick. 

Sunday, July 18, 2004

She will be loved

She Will Be Loved - Maroon 5
Beauty queen of only eighteen
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else

I drove for miles and miles
And wound up at your door
I've had you so many times but somehow
I want more

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
And she will be loved

Tap on my window, knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get so insecure
It doesn't matter anymore

It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along
My heart is full and my door's always open
You can come anytime you want

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain, oh
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved

I know where you hide
Alone in your car
Know all of the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye means nothing at all
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls

Tap on my window, knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful

I don't mind spending every day
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved

Please don't try so hard to say goodbye
Please don't try so hard to say goodbye

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain

Please don't try so hard to say goodbye

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

HOw life treating you bitch?

I need an adventure.

Life has been uninteresting and boring this past week ever since the exams ended, its like Frodo going through that long exilerating journey full of suffering and pain and when everything has ended and he goes back to that bloody Shire, bliss lasts for a while and then boredom sets in and the need to roam and look for something interesting to occupy my time and mind starts again.

Three guys walk into a bar... god.. there are just too many ways to end that one.

Pc is down...or rather the moniter is. Last time it flickers as if willing to delude itself into thinking that its a freaking star. I think I must have listen to the song "when you wish upon a star" at night too much.

After that it sorts of think its alive coz it starts to swell slightly as if to show its breathing...and then it just dies out. I think its hiberating itself.

You know what they say about things and their owners. They resembles each other. God, I'm delusional and have my head up in the clouds thinking all sorts of stuff all the time as well no wonder my pc is doing the same intead of just being contented being a non-animated object.

Stuff that I usually do when I am bored:
1. read
2. shop
3. have coffee with friends
4. surf the net
5. go out with friends
6. watch cable

But, I'm broke, plus I can't borrow books out of the library coz my overdue fines are too much and as I've mentioned, my pc has spoiled.(I'm using the school pc btw,and its sooo much faster than my inefficient and can't believe its cable speed pc!arrrggghh!!!).. and there's nothing gd on tv.. even cable..*sulk*

Monday, July 12, 2004

The fate of do you think he will fare in Singapore?

What if Peter Parker got all fed up in his hometown and decides to migrate to Singapore?

1.He will definitely require a flying through webbing licence.

2.Spidy will need to clean up all his little webs he leave about when swinging from tower to tower like Tarzan on vines, otherwise he will be fined for $500 and made to perform correctional work, Spidy or not.

3.He will most probably find his need love interest in the form of a young convent school girl (st margarets? katong convent?)..named Faith.

4. ...most probably may set tongues wagging and spoil reputation of a superhero by having a relationship with a young convent school girl.

5. Will be forced to wear a more "decent" looking attire than that figure-hugging spandex outfit, as a lot of residents wrote letters of complaint to the goverment about the indecent and disturbing sight of a red and blue weirdo swinging by their windows of a 12th floor HDB block.

6.Spidy will have have no villians to bust anyway due to our efficient goverment and our most hardworking police force.

7.Plus, he will be too tired to go about swinging about at night to bust criminals as he had to work overtime everyday monday to saturday..and even maybe sunday to finish up that project that he had to hand up to the boss first thing monday.

8. Furthermore, with all that fines that he have to pay,plus all that licence he had to acquire,hey..why bother!!!

9.Singapore is really too hot to swing about in that get-up.It'll be a wonder if he didn't get sun stroke or over dehydration first.

10. Again,red and blue spandex outfit? Most probably we will die laughing at his gauche outfit then marvel at his abilities...

verdict: think if he really decides to move here, will be more practical for him to offer rides around by him, $60 for a 20mins ride...will be more profitable for him and also a great use for his super powers as well.

Wednesday, July 07, 2004


I feel good today. No idea why though, maybe its because I got out of the right side of my bed, maybe it's because of the lazing in bed till 11 this morning, maybe it's because I gave myself a self-declared holiday from school today, maybe it's because my mid year torture has just ended, maybe it's because I am listening to a deliciously happy song right now, maybe its because I'm going to town later to have a nice dinner, maybe it's because I'm gonna look pretty coz I'm dressing up later, maybe its because I'm gonna go out with my two darling best friends later, maybe my endorphins decided to give myself a treat today, maybe it's because of the perfect weather outside, maybe it's because my complexion look a bit better today, maybe it's because my eye bags disappear momentarily for today, maybe it's because my room is in a neat state again, maybe it's because I'm so enthralled by the idea of the idea that a weekend of non-studying is drawing near, maybe it's because I love the idea of night drawing near and I'll be sitting down having a drink somewhere with my friends looking at twinkle lights and laughing together, maybe it's this fantasy of meeting a tall.. dark.. handsome stranger tonight....

...ahhhhhh..I wonder why, but for now, life just feels gooooood. ;)

Sunday, July 04, 2004



NOw this is a song which I will truly love forever... its so nice..! Would love to dance to it though.. :) Perfect.

Betcha By Golly Wow - Prince

There's a spark of magic in your eyes
Candyland appears each time you smile
Never thought that fairy tales came true
But they come true when I'm near you
You're a genie in disguise
Full of wonder and surprise, and

Betcha by golly, wow
You're the one that I've been waiting for
And ever will my love for you
Keep growing strong
Keep growing strong

If I could, I'd catch a falling star
To shine on you
So I 'll know where you are
Paint a rainbow in your favorite shades
To show I love you
Thinking of you
Write your name across the sky
Anything you ask, I'll try, 'cause


Baby, sometimes,
A man can't find words to express
All the things he feels inside
But every just so often
The words of another
Who's truly in love
Seem to work out fine
To say I love you (I love you)
They say I'm thinkin' of you

I love you baby

p.s anyone who wants to d'l it approach me, am most willing to share one of the most wonderful song to you~~! :)

Saturday, July 03, 2004

Fly Me To The Moon

Well Helaine, I've tried looking for songs that have no connection to love at all, but failed to do so. I can only deduced that just so happen that all the songs I ever liked have hints of love in them? It's hard not to anyway, almost all nice songs with lovely melodies are love songs anyway. heh!

Fly Me To The Moon - Frank Sinatra

Fly me to the moon
Let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like on
Jupiter and Mars

In other words, hold my hand
In other words, baby, kiss me

Fill my heart with song
And let me sing forever more
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore

In other words, please be true
In other words, I love you

Fill my heart with song
Let me sing forever more
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore

In other words, please be true
In other words
In other words
I love you

Gaga session over Colin & Hughie

No my dear Aliah, I am mesmerised by them both.

Both are so different and goddam attractive in their own way..*drool*. For Colin Firth, its the smouldering look, soulful eyes and oh so serious demenour that is so attractive to behold.


For Hugh Grant,its the accent, twinkly eyes, the mega watt smile.

handsome hughie

In the movie,Hugh Grant's persona is the bad boy that is great for a short term relationship to satisfy a female's carnal side. The thing about bad boys is that they are exciting.. for a while. Bridget hits it right when she rejects him and throw him back the quote he said to her before, she is looking for something more extraordinary than that.

hiya hunk

Simply loved Grant in Notting hill...*melts*

Julia Roberts says near the end of the movie to Hugh Grant "..and don't forget, I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her."


On the other hand, look at Colin, one can simply melt into his eyes.... you have to admit, both of them are sexy as hell.

great smile..

Bridget finally kisses Mark Darcy in the end and exclaimed in surprise,
"Hey,wait a minute, nice boys don't kiss like that."
..afterwhich Mark gave her a smouldering look and replied
"Yes they fucking do."

The nice boy with the hint of bad boy inside...heee


For those of you who thought that the word "fucking" was not supposed to be there in the dialogue, well, its not that coz it's censored in Singapore. According to my internet downloaded version of the movie, oh yes it fucking have that fucking word in there.

comical last

Came across this photo of Hugh Grant as a "bunny boy" while surfing for his pictures to post.. thought you guys like a good laugh as I did so post it as well. Can't wait for Bridget Jones's Diary sequel "The Edge Of Reason". :)

And thanks to Aliah for contributing to my fav.line in the whole movie in Bridget's Jones's Diary:

Mark Darcy: I like you, very much.
Bridget: Ah, apart from the smoking and the drinking, the vulgar mother and... ah, the verbal diarrhea.
Mark Darcy: No, I like you very much. Just as you are.

Friday, July 02, 2004

For Nostalgic Reasons

Was watching Bridget Jone's Diary just now..wonderful movie..ahhhh.. I would kill to be in her shoes ..who wouldn't? Colin Firth is just too delicious to resist..heee..

Anyway this is one of the songs in the movie.. had download this song before but was erased when pc crashed and forgot all about this song till just now. I've always like this song v.much. While listening to it..suddenly brings back unexpected memories...

..and for a split second I thought I felt a sliver of that emotion coming back, luckily I was wrong. Some things just can't be forgotten instantly I guess. :)

Out Of Reach - Gabrielle

Knew the signs
Wasn't right
I was stupid for a while
Swept away by you
And now I feel like a fool
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never
Meant to be

Catch myself
From despair
I could drown
If I stay here
Keeping busy everyday
I know I will be OK

But I was
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never
Meant to be

So much hurt,
So much pain
Takes a while
To regain
What is lost inside
And I hope that in time,
You'll be out of my mind
And I'll be over you

But now I'm
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach,
So far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never
Meant to be

Out of reach,
So far
You never gave your heart
In my reach, I can see
There's a life out there
For me

The Different Kinds Of Right

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

There are 3 kinds of Mr Right. Mr Right, Mr Right-Now, and Mr "Rigggght".

Mr Right
Mr Right or aka "The One". This kind of guys that usually am the love of your life, and in front of him all other matters cease to exist in your mind.It's easy to become easily irrational and walk around with a silly grin on your face all day long and singing love songs and suddenly feeling that the world seems so much more a happier and beautiful place. Rare to come by, this kind of guys usually am the epitome of all the guys that you ever encounter before and can never be replaced. The kind that you can truly live with happily ever after types.
Example: Shrek.

Mr Right-Now
Mr Right-Now,the distant relative of Mr Right, they are as the name suggests perfect for right now. Usually a large part of the ex boyfriends one ever dates falls under this catergory even though some maybe seem to be a Mr Right in the beginning. For Mr Right-Nows people tend to chose them for their own diferent reasons, like a guy for a rebound, or just need companionship, a fireworks relationship (beautiful yet short-lived)...and etcetera. But sometimes Mr Right-Now may become Mr Right as well.
Example: endless... but like in Sleepless In Seattle, Bill Pullman was Meg Ryan's Mr Right until she found out that actually the true Mr Right is Tom Hanks and Bill is just Mr Right-Now.

Get it?


Mr "Riggghht".
Pronounced by dragging the "g" and in a condenscending tone, Mr "Riggght" is that kind of guy that teachs one which kind of guys to avoid in the future, which is good for us in the long run because it helps us eliminate those that are not worthy of our time faster. Of course, most probably the relationship with Mr "Riggght" will definitely be shitty but hey, at least what we can do is to learn something out of it and avoid such scums or in the future right?
Example:Can't think of one right now.. how about all the villain characters?

Ultimately, its always good to keep an open mind to in relationships go along and take it as it comes. No guys can be that person for you if you keep picking at his flaws. Its about accepting the person for who he is, warts and all. :)

An Ode To Banana Phone

Dear Banana Phone,

I'm sad to see you go..or rather gone from Helaine's blog finally. Ahh.. the times where I would bang my head against the moniter in sheer horrification once you dive into my ears whenever I click to view Helaine's blog...those were the days right? You never failed to make feel like strangling the bananas in the kitchen or give them the evil eye whenever I walk to the kitchen as well... well if i can't kill you at least it can appease me a bit if i torture your cousins instead.

I do admit that I can't wait to see you go, erased and deleted by Helaine.. but now that you are gone, there's this feeling of nostalgic that no song will make me feel so irritated like you do all the time.. exception to all Backstreet boys and Aaron Carter songs. Its a love and hate relationship for you and me.

In recognition to your influence to my life and in respect to your demise, I've decided to post your lyrics to all to see and give salute to whoever that came out with such a silly, irritating, and yet strangely addictive song.

Banana Phone - Raffi



Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring banana phone
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring banana phone
I've got this feeling, so appealing,
for us to set together and sing. Sing!

Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring banana phone
Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding donana phone
It grows in bunches, I've got my hunches,
It's the best! Beats the rest!
Cellular, Modular, Interactivodular!

Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring banana phone
Ping pong ping pong ping pong ping panana phone
It's no bolagna, it aint a phony!
My cellular bananular phone!

Don't need quarters, don't need dimes,
to call a friend of mine!
Don't need coomputer or TV,
to have a real good time!
I'll call for pizza. I'll call my cat.
I'll call the white house, have a chat!
I'll place a call around the world, operater get me bejing-jing-jing-jing!

(Soprano Sax Solo)

Play that thing!
(Piano Solo)

Whooo Hooo!

Well there's that, I will miss you I guess. You never look so beautiful to me being out of my life now. Stay that way. I just want to remember you like this in your non existance. Goodbye~


Thursday, July 01, 2004

You're The Only One

You're The Only One - Maria Mena

Well I saw you with your hands above your head
Spinning around, trying not to look down
But you did, and you fell, hard on the ground
Then you stumbled around for a good ten minutes
And I said I'd never seen anyone look so dumb before
And you laughed and said I still know how to turn you on though

You're the only one who
Drags me kicking and screaming through fast dreams
You're the only one who
Knows exactly what I mean

And I probably forgot to tell you this
Like that time I forgot to tell you about the scar
Remember how uncomfortable that made you feel?
See you're not what I expected
But you're the only one who knows how to handle me
And you're such a great kisser and I know that you'd agree

You're the only one who
Drags me kicking and screaming through fast dreams
You're the only one who
Knows exactly what I mean

I hope you can forgive me for that time
When I put my hand between your legs
And said it was small
Cuz its really not at all
I guess there's just a part of me that likes to bring you down
Just to keep you around
Cuz the day you realize how amazing you are
You're gonna leave me

You're the only one who
Hold my hair back when I'm drunk and gets sick
You're the only one who
Knows exactly what I mean

You're the only one who
Drags me kicking and screaming through fast dreams
You're the only one who
Knows exactly what I mean

Exactly what I mean

Well I saw you with your hands above your head
Spinning around, trying not to look down
But you did, and you fell, hard on the ground.

** yea.. the kind of love where you have no idea why you like such a slob so much.. but that's the beauty of love right? ;)

*** Oh, and thanks to Jolyn for introducing the song to me! ..if we are that attentive towards our Geog than music yeah? *wry smile* :)

Dickirella - A Fairy Tale Part 1

Once upon a time there is a boy named Dick.. no particular reson why his name is called Dick but as legend goes it's because the moment he shot out of his Mum after living inside her for the first 9 months of his life, his Dad is so overcome with emotions that he finally had a son that he can only point his finger in delight at the little willy attached and utter "..Dick!"

Thus the name stucked.

Back to the story.

Dick grew up a most happy boy, one of the most happiest and good mannered boy one has ever seen. A most interesting boy with a great blend of being a snag and yet being v.manly as well.(those of you who do not know what snag is, that means sensitive new age guy).

But as all seemingly perfect creatures goes, there's always a catch. Dick has a secret flaw that he can never NEVER tell anyone because it will ruin his life forever.. or rather get teased about it by his mates and get looks of sympathy from girls.

Dick has a really small dick.

Really small.


Ironial right?

And that his name reminds him of it 24/7.. or everytime he have a pee.

In fact no one has ever seen him pee....* X files music *

Back to Dicky being tiny.

Tiny Dicky.

Dicky Tiny.


Right. Back to the story.

He is so tiny that his dick has not increase in size ever since he is born.

Why then you may ask. WHy?!?!?!

Well that is because before he is born, one day his mother is looking out of the window of her backyard and saw that the neighnour next door have grow a whole crop of yams in her garden and suddenly feels peckish and have a really huge craving for yams.

She calls to her husband."Qiang ge .."

*names have been changed to protect the people's true identity*

"Qiang ge.. Where are you my love? I need to eat yams.. NOw!!!"

Guoqiang the henpeck husband at that moment was in his room wanking and watching porn.(well when your wife's pregnant, what's a guy to do?!?!?) He was almost achieving orgasm and having the most erotic dirty thoughts featuring him and xiao tao zi when his wife Brandon disturb him.(yes i know Brandon is a guy's name, but Brandon's Dad always wanted a son so when she came out with no dick..hell since the name has been chosen anyway so what the heck... but for feminine reasons Brandon is known to her friends as Brandi instead,)

"Why do you want to eat yams?"

"The woman next door have a crop of yams..have a craving for it."

"But I don't want to go!"

"I want to eat yams!"

"I have work to do! (yea..right)"

"Honey..didn't you say you love me forever and will do anything for me?

"Yes..I did say that"

"If you buy it for me i promise to give you a nice blowjob when you come back."

Guoqiang the henpeck and deprived excited by the prospect of getting some TLC finally disappear in a flash and rushed off to the nearest NTUC to buy the wonderful yams, but there is no yams available. He went to cold storage, liberty, carrefeur.. eveywhere but there's not even one yam to be found. Finally he asked one of the staff working there,"Why is there no yams available?"

The girl was wearing a bohemian top with braids all around her...v. hippiesh to be more exact. "Ohhh..I'm sooo sorry mate,"(the staff went to study in austraila for a year, dropped out because she smoked too much pot and ever since then developed a weird accent when she came back.)

"..There has been a shipping accident, just so happens that was the ship that was carrying all the yams that was bound for Singapore, it was the maiden voyage for that ship.. the most beautiful ship she is that Titanic.. tis a pity that it hit a lighthouse and sunk.. the lighthouse wasn't lighted up coz the fella guarding it was drunk..hit and sinked man."

Guoqiang the desperately deprived for Brandi's TLC unfortunately did never liked history so do not know that the story is a figment of imagination from the cracked up staff Aliah.

"Groovey" (shows peace sign.)

On his way home,Guoqiang is in turmoil... is he gonna just give up his candy licking good time from his wife just like that?


In times like this, a man should show what's he made of..pumping his fist in the air with a faraway look in his eyes he shouted, full of emotion, bravery and courage.."I will not fail you!"

He is of course referring to the thing between his legs by the way.

The people around at shenton way gwaped at him and went on about, walking a round about away from him as a form of respect for his new found determination and in awe of his manliness.. or he thinks so.

The he hit on a idea.. he should just buy one from the neighbour next door! Merrily he skipped..cancel that thought..Manly, he stride to the doorstep and knocked on the door.

Knock knock knock.

The door swung open to reveal a scantily claded woman leaning sensually at the door frame. Ruby red lips, slim tanned body, bright sparkly eyes wearing a black teddy..." Hi, I'm Keong, your next door neighbour, I was wondering when you'll come over to have an affair with me ever since your wife got pregnant."

.....with a distinctively male voice.

All thoughts of erotica popped instantly like soap bubbles the moment he heared his voice.

"Errr.. actually I was wondering whether you can sell me some of your yams.."

"Yams? OH i have yams alright baby..see."

The black teddy was opened up in front to reveal an ENORMOUS sight.

Blushing furiously.. Guoqiang couldn't tear his eyes away .. A hungry man is an angry..and desperate man. With senses overcrowding his mind, he allows himself to be led into the house by him...

You know that saying where when you are hungry, anything's delicious but when you are full, god forbid that ugly old toothless 85 year old hag come close to you again. When Guoqiang woken up 3 hours later, he was horrified of what he had done.. Damm! A guy!.. well three quarters guy anyway and boy is she..he ..shim. hot.. but..ahhhh.!!! Being a really straight guy, Guoqiang just can't get over the fact that it does not really matter when he's a guy or girl.. it was great so shouldn't that be enough?!!?!

He tiptoed away out of bed, away from the snoring Keong, sneaked into the garden, taking a yam.. actually wait.. taking 5 yams*(well, after all he has gone through)..sneaked out of the backdoor and ran on home.

..After which, Brandi got to eat her yams, Guoqiang got his blowjob..not like he needed it anymore and a few months later Dick was born.

SO what's your point you may ask. Hold on.. I'm getting to it.

Transversite Keong actually really likes Guoqiang. Ever since he first lay eyes on his skinny frame, he has decide that he was the one for him. SO imagine his delight that they did the deed.. but imagine his wrath when Guoqiang refuses to have sex with him ever again. He then decided to strike where it hurts the most. Transversite Keong then travels to Thailand again and visted one the the most famous voodoo master ever and request that when Guoqiang's son is born, he will be cursed to be forever small and until one day when he can......

I need to think for a moment how to break the curse.

Feel free to leave suggestions though.

.....To be continued.

p.s check out the link i'm posted with this article. hehe..