idiotic fallacies

"My heart is a brothel, it has many rooms." - said by a philandering character in Gabriel Garcia Marquez's books... when one simply likes too much things, this is the

Thursday, October 07, 2004

Dialogue between Emotion and Caution

Too weary to write..I can't .. consider. I feel trapped..strapped.. I want to .. .. sweetie... be careful ..stop. But I didn't .. I know.. Trivialites.. stick to that.. stick to that honey. But I don't mean to do anything bad. I am nice... I am.. its nothing right? Stop. Frustrated. Why? Its was nothing! And its was not meant for... I know.. stop. Maybe I'm just too.. I don't know.. put in what you will. I'm tired. I really am. I don't want to make effort anymore. I don't want to be nice anymore. I don't want to live on hope anymore. I just want to be me. I just want to be happy.I thought I can..this.. Tears fall, but why should they fall so? Really upset.. why can't I see humour in it as usual? Because it meant a lot to you I want to laugh it off.. but my heart is too heavy..raw.. The screen is too blurry.. oh the tears..why are they still falling? I can't laugh. I feel so hollow. I can't open myself up again. Its too painful... I can't speak. Can't do anything.. why are the tears still falling??!! I can't get emotional... but I feel so weak now. I'm splintering.... My heart is splintering. I can't believe I've sat here for 4 hours just for this.. ... .. my heart is crying out... help.. save me.. I can't take this.. I'm bursting.. its too overwhelming for me to bear.. Stop..too much.. How can I feel in such extremes .. and how can I let.. No. God I'm so useless. Forget it.. The tears... why can't they stop... Move on.. No i can't.. Detach yourself. Forget it. It doesn't matter... you have more important things to do. This is important to me.. it is. You know nothing can come out of it. You know that perfectly well. Forget it sweetie. How can I? I know... but..but.. you are right. I just got carried away. Dry them..

Dried. Ashes to ashes.. dust to dust... I will. Fine? I will be.. as always.. Good. See I'm fine already. I always will be.


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