idiotic fallacies

"My heart is a brothel, it has many rooms." - said by a philandering character in Gabriel Garcia Marquez's books... when one simply likes too much things, this is the result..me.

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Personally Her's..

Once upon a time, there was a little girl living in Singapore. She was eight and lived happily and was loved by her family. Life was good when she was young. She would play paper dolls with her sister, go cycling around the neighbourhood, and loved looking at her adorable younger brother who was just a toddler then.

A very chatty little girl, she would converse with all the people in the market place whenever she went to buy groceries with her mother. Watching television was a luxury and her most memorable children show was Sesame street.

Although she loved doing a lot of things, what she loved above all others was reading, conversing and music.When she had learnt enough words to read, every weekend, she would take a bus to go to the nearest library and borrow eight thick books on fairy tales and reads then avidly. On and on she would read, not pausing for anything except when her exasperated mother forced her to eat her meals and she would dash to the table, gobble her food down and rush back to that mystical world that she had left so reluctantly. Other times, when she does not have a book in her hands she would talk and have long conversations on the phone with her friends and there will always be some kind of music playing in the background whenever its possible.

Although life was simple, but her books carried her to places more exciting than she ever hoped for and she was very happy with her life and with her books and music for company.

Then slowly, she started to grow up and things started to change. She made friends, left friends, had crushes, changed crushes, learnt ballet, dropped ballet, had long hair, cut it all off for a hideous bowl like mass, left fairytale land moved on to other genres of books, parents not speaking to each other for years thus shattering her idea of having the ideal family, basically all had changed but her love for books, music and conversation.

After that, she went on to secondary school, she was hurt so many times due to cruelties of others because she did not care to look nice, to be pretty. In fact, with her hideous hair and thick spectacles due to all that reading left her pretty plain looking. She did not know how to defend herself and look strong. Thus, she began to feel inferior. Also, together with all those mockery by other classmates because she was a boring, easily bullied individual left her crying into her pillow many times at night.

Thus, she began her resolution, I will be pretty and charming and cold so that no one can ever bully me again.. or even think about it!

And so she did, she went through many image changes both good and bad, began to structure a cold arrogant look on her face and learnt how to be mean and nasty, telling herself all the time that she would survive. By the later years of her secondary school life, she became a confident, sharp, biting, no longer the gullible defenceless girl that she was and also had become better looking than before.

She started working every holiday since 12 for fun and she has learnt a lot through society as well. Like, not to trust every person you meet and do not just take in everything a person say as the truth, that behind a friendly face always can be a backstabber, that some men can say anything to try to bed you, oh and friends do betray no matter how she refuses to believe it initially...

In fact, she does not really like to talk about all her past stories. Why bother? What's the big deal? Everyone has a past story, so? She does not think her teenage years was a big deal neither does she think much of anyone's teenage years were a big deal. So what you went through something or was some little big shot in school or whatever you thought was great or sad about you?

The point of saying all this is not to let people empathise or feel anything about all this,its just for her own self reflection and also because she thinks that one of the worst kind of people is people wallowing in their own self pity and living in the past.

Why she wrote this is because she's happy now because she has bothered to change and of all the disappointments she has went through, she has grown to be a much stronger and happy person, and that she has finally come to a point where she's comfortable in her own skin and at peace with herself. She still likes being nice but at least now she knows where to draw the line and to protect herself whenever there is a need to. She chooses her own friends instead of letting people choose her. Sh's living life the way she wants it to be and bending the rules and restrictions that are hindering her instead of being angry and getting all pissed about it. Living life merrily and dismiss bad events and people out of hand as easily as she laughs.

Although there is still a lot of things that she still likes to improve on, she's glad that finally she can say that she does like herself for who she is and is happy at last.

And for all that is worth, she still loves her books, music and to indulge in interesting funny conversations with others.

***

It is just too often that I heard from people that they are upset with their lives and just so often as well, they think that there's nothing they can do about it. All I can say that its just all mind over matter, over your perspective of how you want to see things in either a positive or negative light.

I can't say that my life is tragic and can understand how the few who really had a tough upbringing feels, but why hinder yourself because of your past? One should live for the future, otherwise what's the point of living in the present when you are still stuck in your past?

Happiness and laughter does not comes to one, its is something that is always with us, every emotion felt is always within a person, its just the matter of which emotion the person wants to indulge in.

To that one person who cause me to write this, hey, lighten up, it ain't the end of the world. Smile and the whole world will smile with you. You'll see. :)

2 Comments:

Blogger Midst of the Woods said...

Hi there!

It's all fiction. Some truth in it though. I mixed them all up! :P Thanks for the comments and visiting my blogs! Hee hee. I hope that I wasn't the one to cause you to write this, but just in case, if I happen to be that guilty culprit, I hereby would like to make an offical apology. Yup, yup. I am so depressing, I have enough sour lemons in me to make gallons of lemonade!!! Wanna try some? Hee hee :)

2:39 AM  
Blogger Mariana said...

Oh God, you visited me! I don't speak english, but I know to say: Thanks!!! Hehehehehehehe... beijos,

3:21 AM  

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