Zen and Greg

"Kok Xiong come, play with me and Jie Jie.."

The little boy turned towards the direction of his sister's voice and run towards it.

Big watery eyes, fair skinned.. rosy cheeks..the little rose bud lips.. Kok Xiong look like those sweet angelic cupids you see painted in those art paintings.

Due to being raised in a traditional chinese family, Kok Xiong has always been pampered by his father, mother and two sisters, especially his Daddy.

"Kok Xiong come, look at what Daddy bought you! A remote control car!"
"Kok Xiong, you like the toy gun?"
"Kok Xiong, come, Daddy bring you to watch movie! What movie you want to watch?"

Kok Xiong was pampered by everyone because his father longed for a son more than anything in the world. In fact this was his second wife. His first wife was unable to bear him any children. He threw the first wife out and divorced her after his mother was told from the fortune teller that he will not be able to have any sons with this wife due to the mismatch of their eight characters. The fortune teller also told the superstitious mother that his son can only get a descendent if he marries a voluptuous woman with an enormous mole on her chin.

Soon after, the father really manage to meet a voluptuous woman with an enormous mole on her chin while having coffee with his friends. She was just sitting at the table in front of him facing him and wearing a red garish looking dress so it was difficult not to notice immediately.

They got married one month after the father went up to her and introduced himself and he got himself a daughter nine months later. He did invite the fortune teller to his wedding that night, but the fortune teller did not turn up as he was away on holiday with his lover. You may wonder how would a fortune teller be so rich to go on a holiday? Well, apparently he have a extremely discreet side business as a matchmaker as well, and receive big angbaos from his customers especially from those he manage to marry off successfully to rich families.

By the second daughter, the father was fuming mad. Didn't the fortune teller promise him that he will get a son? Furious, he went back to the fortune teller dragging the wife along with him. In rage, he punched the fortune teller on the nose as soon as he opened the door and demand for an explanation or else...

"Don't worry... I'm sure you will have a son next... you see ..er.. because you are a man with too much ying in you so that is why you have two daughters.. to expel the excessive amounts of ying... once you have balance your ying and yang.. you will have a son...."

The fortune teller cowered into the wall when the father raised his fist again..." You better not lie..it better be a son this time..or else..."

"Yes..yes.. certainly... erm.. just leave your wife here with me while I perform the rites on her to expel the ying.."

***

"Leong, I'm scared he'll find out."

"Don't worry.. he won't. Anyway he's impotent, how is he going to have children with any woman! Just relax, take off your clothes now."

"I..I ...don't want to.."

"You..stupid woman!" He slaps her.

"Do you think you could have got yourself into this luxurious life without my help? Look at you! With that disgusting mole and the figure of yours, who would even take a second look at you!

Slap slap slap.

"Be grateful you bitch and stop crying! You are nothing without me. Nothing! I can help you and I can break you! Resist me and you will see the consequences! Do you want to go back to that dump of yours?"

"No! no....nononono.... no.."

"No? That's right, that's a good girl now.. come with me, yes lie down. Once a week as repaying me isn't that bad right? He wants a son, we will give him a son... hahaha.. that sonafabitch.."

***

Nine months later, Kok Xiong was born.

[to be continued]

To settle or not? Well, its all up to you.

Are you someone who will settle for less?

I forgot whether I have talk about this before already or not, but a new thought just drift in.

Actually settling for less may not be a bad thing. Yes the feeling that you have been discounted is there, however what if that's the best offer you are ever gonna get?

Also, getting less is also gaining something as well. It may not be as much as you would have envisionised but having it is at least better than not getting any right?

Ultimately it still have to be based on whether you are being truthful and be in acceptance to your feelings.

Kind of vague right? It is because it can't really be fitted into any mould, but smart alecs will know what I'm talking about. :)


***


Another thing, I realised that my male friends are utterly protective of me... too much actually. They always encourage me to date yet every time the guys I date will never match up to this ideal guy they have for me in their heads.

Usual reaction whenever they meet any of my dates:

"Sam, he's not suitable for you lah. You can do better than that."

next.

"Sam, *insert explanation* you can do better than that."


Come to think of it, none of the guys I date can never match up or come remotely close to their expectations.

Well, I guess this reaction is normal when it comes to your close buds, you just want the best for them.


To my pair of dating supervisors:

Sweethearts, just to let you know, I'm a big girl and I can take care of myself so even if the guy isn't my type according to you as long as I'm fine with it just let me be alright?

sincerely and fondly
your charge,

Samantha

Personally Her's..

Once upon a time, there was a little girl living in Singapore. She was eight and lived happily and was loved by her family. Life was good when she was young. She would play paper dolls with her sister, go cycling around the neighbourhood, and loved looking at her adorable younger brother who was just a toddler then.

A very chatty little girl, she would converse with all the people in the market place whenever she went to buy groceries with her mother. Watching television was a luxury and her most memorable children show was Sesame street.

Although she loved doing a lot of things, what she loved above all others was reading, conversing and music.When she had learnt enough words to read, every weekend, she would take a bus to go to the nearest library and borrow eight thick books on fairy tales and reads then avidly. On and on she would read, not pausing for anything except when her exasperated mother forced her to eat her meals and she would dash to the table, gobble her food down and rush back to that mystical world that she had left so reluctantly. Other times, when she does not have a book in her hands she would talk and have long conversations on the phone with her friends and there will always be some kind of music playing in the background whenever its possible.

Although life was simple, but her books carried her to places more exciting than she ever hoped for and she was very happy with her life and with her books and music for company.

Then slowly, she started to grow up and things started to change. She made friends, left friends, had crushes, changed crushes, learnt ballet, dropped ballet, had long hair, cut it all off for a hideous bowl like mass, left fairytale land moved on to other genres of books, parents not speaking to each other for years thus shattering her idea of having the ideal family, basically all had changed but her love for books, music and conversation.

After that, she went on to secondary school, she was hurt so many times due to cruelties of others because she did not care to look nice, to be pretty. In fact, with her hideous hair and thick spectacles due to all that reading left her pretty plain looking. She did not know how to defend herself and look strong. Thus, she began to feel inferior. Also, together with all those mockery by other classmates because she was a boring, easily bullied individual left her crying into her pillow many times at night.

Thus, she began her resolution, I will be pretty and charming and cold so that no one can ever bully me again.. or even think about it!

And so she did, she went through many image changes both good and bad, began to structure a cold arrogant look on her face and learnt how to be mean and nasty, telling herself all the time that she would survive. By the later years of her secondary school life, she became a confident, sharp, biting, no longer the gullible defenceless girl that she was and also had become better looking than before.

She started working every holiday since 12 for fun and she has learnt a lot through society as well. Like, not to trust every person you meet and do not just take in everything a person say as the truth, that behind a friendly face always can be a backstabber, that some men can say anything to try to bed you, oh and friends do betray no matter how she refuses to believe it initially...

In fact, she does not really like to talk about all her past stories. Why bother? What's the big deal? Everyone has a past story, so? She does not think her teenage years was a big deal neither does she think much of anyone's teenage years were a big deal. So what you went through something or was some little big shot in school or whatever you thought was great or sad about you?

The point of saying all this is not to let people empathise or feel anything about all this,its just for her own self reflection and also because she thinks that one of the worst kind of people is people wallowing in their own self pity and living in the past.

Why she wrote this is because she's happy now because she has bothered to change and of all the disappointments she has went through, she has grown to be a much stronger and happy person, and that she has finally come to a point where she's comfortable in her own skin and at peace with herself. She still likes being nice but at least now she knows where to draw the line and to protect herself whenever there is a need to. She chooses her own friends instead of letting people choose her. Sh's living life the way she wants it to be and bending the rules and restrictions that are hindering her instead of being angry and getting all pissed about it. Living life merrily and dismiss bad events and people out of hand as easily as she laughs.

Although there is still a lot of things that she still likes to improve on, she's glad that finally she can say that she does like herself for who she is and is happy at last.

And for all that is worth, she still loves her books, music and to indulge in interesting funny conversations with others.

***

It is just too often that I heard from people that they are upset with their lives and just so often as well, they think that there's nothing they can do about it. All I can say that its just all mind over matter, over your perspective of how you want to see things in either a positive or negative light.

I can't say that my life is tragic and can understand how the few who really had a tough upbringing feels, but why hinder yourself because of your past? One should live for the future, otherwise what's the point of living in the present when you are still stuck in your past?

Happiness and laughter does not comes to one, its is something that is always with us, every emotion felt is always within a person, its just the matter of which emotion the person wants to indulge in.

To that one person who cause me to write this, hey, lighten up, it ain't the end of the world. Smile and the whole world will smile with you. You'll see. :)

Sexpectations.

Was discussing about the behaviours of sex with some friends over coffee the other day. (no.. that is not the main topic, the subject sort of pop out..haha)

..And then the subject of "demure equates wild kitty" vs "wild kitty equates bed pooper" comes out. According to some of my friends' "first hand research" or even secondary ones from similiar conversations or comments by friends usually the more demure and shy the person looks, the more adventurous and exciting in bed the person is, and the more wild the person look usually the more prudish they are.

Hmm.

I do not know coz I am not as "experienced" as them. Most of what I know are all secondary information. But if their "studies" is true, my eventual performance as evaluted by them through my appearence and image will be:

"Sam arz..you will SUCK in bed lah"

..And no its not an action word, more closer to the meaning of "bad", "disasterous" rather than doing the lollypop.


***


Frankly I do not know whether I will or not.

And truthfully I think my feelings will be rather hurt if my eventual partner thinks I am .



3 solutions provided cheerfully by my friends:



1. Practice Make Perfect

hmm..ermz, I'll think about it. Next.



2. Learn to be demure..or fake a demure image.

A more practical solution coz if you have a demure image, sexpectations of guys are usually lowered coz they will think you will probably not be that daring. Thus any movement of of the "basics" you pull on him will be recieved in amazement. However in the case of the wild kitty, it will be assumed that you already mastered every position in Karma Sutra, thus you will never match up to the sexpectations he have of you.

eg senario:


demure girl: "hey, do you want to come up?" *winks*
guy: *thinks* omigod... I'm dreaming... I never expect it!


wild kitty: " hey, do you want to come up?" *winks*
guy: "well, I already know you gonna ask, I've brought the whip, I suppose you have the cuffs at your place already right?"



Hmmph.



3. Be a lesbian

Which I have no idea why its considered a solution coz its more like escaping the problem.

Plus I'm v.selective about the girls I fall in love with.


Heh.


***


Conclusion:

I think I'll have to start reading up and practice doing the pretzel from now on...... when I have the time.
Err..anyone have a copy of the Karma Sutra to borrow then? Hehe..

You Make Me Feel Like A Natural Woman

You Make Me Feel Like A Natural Woman - Aretha Franklin

Looking out on the morning rain
I used to feel so uninspired
And when I knew I had to face another day
Lord, it made me feel so tired
Before the day I met you, life was so unkind
But you're the key to my peace of mind

Cause you make me feel,
You make me feel,
You make me feel like
A natural woman

When my soul was in the lost-and-found
You came along to claim it
I didn't know just what was wrong with me
'Til your kiss helped me name it
Now I'm no longer doubtful of what I'm living for
Because if I make you happy I don't need to do more

You make me feel,
You make me feel,
You make me feel like
A natural woman

Oh, baby, what you've done to me
Ooooh. You make me feel so good inside
Aaaaaa-nd I just want to be close to you
You make me feel so aliiiii-iiiii-iiiiiiive

You make me feel,
You make me feel,
You make me feel like
A natural woman

Divine Powers

Saturday, Crystal, Wei Kwang, Joann and I met up for coffee cum dinner at Bugis. Crystal and Kwang wants to go to the temple at Bugis, Kwan Yin temple, to pray, and so me and Joann tagged along as well. My mum always likes to draw lots there..(or is it called that? You know the wooden bucket with a lot of numbered sticks on it?)..so I have a go at it as well.. I want to ask if I will have a happy contented successful life even if I didn't go to university.

COz the sterotype is if you don't go into university your Future is soooo OVER.

KApoot.

I had to ask. Coz its freaking me out a bit.

And this is the result :

Lot 69:

The peony plant is bare now, yet, from a single bud will spring forth new shoots and new blooms of unmatched beauty next season.

Interpretation: MEDIUM

One's aim will be accomplished although it seems futile at first. One shoots an arow to reach the void, but could not succeed. Finally, one does reach it.

***

Hehehe..

I am sipping chinese tea while writing this.

... which is not relevant I know.

Whether I believe in it or not is not the point, but I guess this kind of things can provide people some comfort by giving Faith and Hope.

Its these two that sometimes gives a person strength to go on when all seems bleak and at the point of inability to move on.

Anyway,what is your own interpretation of of my lot? Tell me about it. ;)

Stop, Look, Listen - Marvin Gaye & Diana Ross

[Marvin]
You're alone all the time
Does it ever puzzle you
Have you asked why
You seem to fall in love and out again
Do you really ever love
Or just pretend, oh, baby
Why fool yourself
Don't be afraid to help yourself
It's never too late, too late to
Stop, look, yes, listen to your heart
Hear what it's sayin'
Stop, look, listen to your heart
Hear what it's sayin'
Love, oh, love, love
[Diana]
Though you try, you can't hide
All the things you really feel
This time decide
That you will open up, let it in
There's no shame in sharin' love you feel within
So jump right in
Head over heels and fall right in
It's never too late, too late to
Stop, look, listen to your heart
Hear what it's sayin'
Stop, look, oh, listen to your heart
Hear what it's sayin'
Love, love, love
[Both]
Darlin', darlin', stop and look
[Stop right now and listen to your heart]
Oh, listen to your heart hear what it's sayin'
[Can't you see that it's not too late]
Stop and look
And listen to your heart hear what it's sayin'
Stop and listen to your heart right now
[Stop, look]
[Listen to your heart hear what's it's sayin']
Oh, can't you see that it's not too late
[Stop, look]
[Listen to your heart hear what it's sayin']
Darlin', stop and look
And listen to your heart hear what it's sayin'
Stop, baby
[Stop right now and listen to your heart]
And listen to your heart hear what it's sayin'
[Ooh, ooh, can't you see that it's not too late]

Is there really a thing such as Fate?

Remember all the time whenever you have a lightning bolt flash into your heart, the world stops whenever you met someone special? This must be fate you say. we are fated to meet.

Well is it?

I think we dramatise "love at first sight" as "Fate" too much.

Technically its just probability. Sometimes you take a longer time to like a person, sometimes you don't.

But mostly, the probability for "love at first sight" to people with good looks is pretty much higher than people with average looks.

You are just instantanously attracted, like how you are attracted to that beautiful cashmere top you spot the moment you step into the boutique.

Admit it. (or Asmit it... right Helaine? Hurhurhurhur)

But remember, how you immediately fell out of love and dismiss the "Fate" part immediately when suddenly the person in question reveals some unbearable traits that you just can't abhore?

Therefore its not really Fate, its just probability.

Every No brings you closer to a Yes. That's all.

Thus all in all, the main question right now is not hoping for "Fate" to kick in or rather how to bring your probability to " Yes Yes Yes" up.

I'm sick of stupid people...

Unless you are living under a rock or haven't been living in Singapore for the past 2 months you would know that the latest suicide trend is jumping on the tracks at the mrt station.

Eversince that lady teacher who fell onto the tracks there seemed to be a sudden jump in the frequency of train tracks jumpers.

What actually goes through their mind when they chose this particular alternative to die?

"Hmm.." , (checks organiser),
" gonna die at 1830hrs..how shall I do it? Overdosage of Panadols? Jumping off a building? Hang myself?... boring boring boring..... hey wait! Jumping off the tracks seems to be in trend now! The rest of the methods are soooo over. Jumping tracks is the new way to go!"

Ok, I realise I am being mean spirited here, but as my mum commented to me last night, why can't they appreciated life?

It's not that I've never felt so depressed, anguish, upset, pissed off, maligned.. to the point that I feel the whole world is against me and in an momentary burst of negative emotions feel like ending it all by jumping out of my window.

No, don't panic, I'm not prone suicidal. Hahaha..

But it's just that I know that this stupid irrational escapism emotion will pass. Furthermore, I know that I will deeply regret my decision and I'm just being a selfish person due to the grief I will put my loved ones through if I did went through this cowardly act.

Life ain't easy to live sometimes but its perfectly beautiful most of the times.

To give it up just like that is just being stupid.


******


Also another point about the metal barriers some people propose to build to "prevent people from falling over the tracks"

And then there is a big hooha that the government should do something to prevent such "accidents" from happening.

I have the perfect solution.

Just stand further back.

Even if you build metal barriers, if a person meant to jump, no amount of metal barriers can stop him as well right? Its just the mater of lifting one's leg up higher to get to the tracks.

Everytime I read about those people who complain diligently that the government should step in to do something especially when there is no need to .. I put my hand to my face and combust in shame.

I just hope that my overseas friends would not read about it and laugh at me and those groups of brainless singaporens.

Why blame the government? Do we really need to be coddled like that? Are all these safety measures really neccessary? With or without that yellow line that allow us to know the safe distance to stay from the MRT, it's logical that one should stay a reasonable distance away from an approaching train right?

What's the point of saying that we are always being force feed by the government and that we want less restriction and more freedom of choice when not being able to think and act like a responsible adult?

Come on, next time you are waiting for the train at the a station and you feel afraid and petrified that some mysterious force will make you accidentally fall on to the tracks.

Don't be frighten.

Just take 3 steps back and you will be all right honey.

Liberate yourself

A lot of men has caused me unhappiness.

In fact throughout my life, most of the most upsettng moments in my life have been caused by men.

Reasons why they affected me so much is because unlike my girlfriends, I tend to let some of them take advantage of my to a great extent. To be absolutely truthful, for those that I've fallen in love with, I'll give them my whole heart and leave my happiness unwittingly in their hands. I will be grateful at the smallest consideration they've shown to me and my feelings will increase tenfold at the slightest act of care and love. So happy that they feel the same about me.

This is of course not great for myself as this will be a lopsided relationship. Expectations are formed at the time where it is not considered wise to. And at a failing of an expectation I'll crumble and feel extremely upset.

But towards guys that I am not that interested in, I have the most rational and great attitude. I take things slow and if not interested just some how convey it and just move on. Its a super time saver and also will not result in sending false hopes to the other party.

I think I must learn to transcend that method to guys I'm interested in as well.

Also, that I should not be so damm grateful if guys I'm interested in show any sign of interest in me. Hey, yes I'm interested but you ain't getting any special treatment until you show something as well.

***

Also ladies, another thought for you to ponder. Noticed the hunk standing across the room? Feeling shy and also that "he couldn't be possibly interested in you" ? So just stand there to check him out for afar?

Get those thoughts out of your head girl! :)

Think about it, guys no matter even if he ain't that good looking approaches the pretty girls to get to know them as well right? So why can't we?

If he says no, then forget it then, if he is disparaging, well, then you are lucky he refuses to get to know you in the first place.

Plus, my guy friends all said that they'll feel great if a girl takes the initiative to get to know them. :)

For those guys that differs, well, it just proves that they are bloody insecure twerps so you are better off without them as well.

If you are too shy to do so, why not get a few like minded friends to boost each other's confidence in doing so as well?

Who cares about all those opinions and criticisms from people who just ain't important to you at all in your life?

I bet you hate yourself for minding about their thoughts about you but we have to get over that.

Why should we continue in going along the hyprocrisy idea that we women should be submissive and wait for the men to make our move?

But its no point harping on and on about it and continuing following that idea still.

I love men, but its doesn't mean I will conform to their ideas of how they want me to be.

It's time for women to stop talking about liberation but doing it.

Don't just talk the talk.

Walk the walk honey.

Me? High standard? no lah..Its guys who have the high standards.

Again I have bought myself into a position where I have invited mockery and endless teasing from my friends due to self-indulgent harmless writing.

In my last entry as a jest I've written my criterias for my dates and the comments pour in thick and fast from friends through smses, when we meet up or they just call me direct to slag me off teasingly over the phone.

This leaves me to ponder: do I really set such high standards?

Let me rephrase those answers in simplistic terms thorugh their number order:

1. name
2. his expectations
3. height. (well you don't expect me to want to bend down while talking to my date right?)
4. are you at least average looking?
5. have anyone said you have mental or abusive problems?
6. age
7. intelligence

I rather think these are quite normal right? Hahaha...

***

I've noticed that recently everyone is on the subject of slagging off men and their idiotic preference to women, their impossible traditionalist standards, their MCPness.

Another example I would like to add:

Yesterday night I was at a pub in one of the hotels in with Fabian and Humaize. Basically it was full of caucasians and I was the only chinese girl there. One of them really caught my eye and his name is GREG a navy pilot from NYC. Tall cute and hunky with great broad shoulders and a slacker lazy charm, he was the first guy that make my heart do a little merry dance since ..for long as I can remember.

Fabian introduced us and we talked. I peppered him with my charming wit and irressistable crap talk... which hopefully he finds entertaining...hahaha... well to cut the long story short. The boss of the pub asked Fabian am I an SPG and why was I talking to Greg? Come on we WERE INTRODUCED and what makes you think that every woman who talks to an ang moh is an SPG? He then asked Fabian how well do he knows me, and the latter replied pretty well which is DUH coz he is supposed to be my best friend. Then the bugger persist and asked does Fabian go out with me often? Fabian replied "oh one to four times a week." And that bugger replied victoriously :" Well, you don't know what she is up to the rest of the time."

Hmm.

I hope I can say that I just laugh and toss his comments off me coz it doesn't matter as who is he to me? Plus I know I am not such a person and am an independent girl who likes men that are witty and cute regardless of race, age nor country.

BUt sadly, it does bug me.

Especially when after Fabian told me this he ask me not to go over to talk to Greg as well and ask me to stay put near the toilet to wait for him. When I ask him why can't I talk to him he replied: "Sam, don't be a slut."

I am pissed. How can just be branded a slut once I walk over to talk to someone I want to know?

Fabian is kind of mcp I know. Reason why he said that is not that he thinks I am a slut but rather he does not want me to be think of as one.

Next time, I promise myself as long as my conscious is clear I am fucking gonna do whatever I want to and won't let anyone's bias judgement torment nor restrict me. I don't care anymore. I don't want to care about the sterotypes and whatever shitty virtuous gag innocent holy image women are suppose to have.

Are some guys really that DUMB WITTED sometimes? Even if you met up with a girl who seems so angelic that you would like to bow down and worship her as your one and only goddess, even if you are gloating when you THINK you have found that person, have it EVER occur to you that it was done just to PLEASE you? Its all for APPEARENCE SAKE??????

Although I used to like to call these girls artificial sweeteners who will give give me diabetes but I need to say that if men doesn't have that fucking sterotype of women from all those stupid drama serials where girls are so sweet and gentle that I can gag from all that sugar syrup they are oozing from, maybe they won't have to act that way anymore.

I will kiss the day that men can drop that sterotype and just happily let us be ourselves.

Do you want to date me?

Was reading through my comments under "Sweet Demure Me" just now and found a prospective date.

At 6:36 PM, Anonymous said...
heyz gurl,can i date you? :) JW

Was a bit excited actually because this was my first offer of a date through the blog and also by the immediate fantasy of JW being Colin Firth which is totally impossible because Colin Firth's acronyms will be CF and also he will definitely not start with "heyz gurl".

Well.

Hi there JW!

I'll be delighted to but first you must tell me more about yourself!

1st question: What does JW stands for?

Jun Wei?
Jun Yuan?
Jun Wen?
JaWs?
?

2nd question: Will you be expecting a demure or non demure girl then?

Let it be known that if you are expecting a demure girl due to reading the title of the article being "Sweet Demure Me" and do not know what irony is, I will play the part for a while. But I must first warn you the facade will not last long as sooner or later my loud opinionated side will come through due to being too digusted with my sweet peachy self.



3rd question: How tall are you?

I am personally 1.7m tall and if you are less than 1.72m its highly unlikely the date will ever come to pass. I have no desire to feel like a giraffe.



4th question: Have you ever cracked a few mirrors when you walk pass them?

I do not like to think of myself as a superficial person. But there must be a limit somewhere. As long people don't scream and run away when they see you will be fine.
And if there are comments that you resemble Colin Firth or Hugh Grant or just that you look like a Greek God that will certainly be a bonus that I am happy to accept.



5th question: Do you harbour any murderous thoughts? Or have you ever been tagged by your friends as the person most likely to land in jail due to split personality/ violent temprement/ erratic behaviours?

Just a question to ensure my personal well being.



6th question: How old are you?

I'm 21 myself. Although I know that May - December relationships are all in the rage now especially in Hollywood (eg. Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher. Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake) but I prefer men that are at least my age.
Plus I would not want to be accused to be a cradle snatcher.



Last: Do you think you can sufficiently entertain me with witty anedoctes and clever conversations?

I hope you can. Because if you have nothing to say except to tell me about your ns/work/school life in a uninteresting manner, I rather stay at home watching my toenails grow.



***


Thus all and all JW, if you confidently think you fulfill all these requests do give me a reply!


p.s: and also to all those that happend to read this article, if you think you are an eligible bachelor who more than 2 people thinks so as well (parents don't count) and fits the bill listed above and wants to date me seeing that I'm a sweet young thing just leave me a msg or an email!

Will be looking forward for more prospective dates to come.

*twiddles thumbs*

Frustration frustration FRUSTRATION!

Damm.. I just finished writing an article that I liked at record speed. You know that kind when you suddenly know what you want to write and everything is just perfect and you just type without stopping till you finished?

Well, its gone.

I hit the publish this post button and the page goes to the cannot be found page and there is a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I should have know it. Everything was too perfect. The words just come out endlesssly, I was in vocab heaven and there isn't any writer's block not even a diction block in sight.

I should have smelt a rat by then.

But oh no, I ignore my suspecting cautious self and go about on my natural naive, trusting, gullible, good hearted, innocent, angelic, selfless nature believing in the good in everything, never suspecting the malicious demonic trap my computer lie in wait for me.

Sigh..

Nevermind. Being the kind soul who have have a heart of gold whose inner beauty shine through in everything that I do and who believes in the ultimate good and purity I will forgive and forget.

Don't forget:

"To err is human, to forgive, divine."

Oh and to you guys, remember to copy your article first before publishing the article.

Just in case.

And I have to stop here. My fingers are painful from the punches I have been giving the moniter.

The Nearness Of You

The Nearness Of You - Norah Jones

It's not the pale moon that excites me
That thrills and delights me

Oh no..

It's just the nearness of you..

It isn't your sweet conversation
That brings this sensation

Oh no..

It's just the nearness of you..

When you're in my arms and I feel you so close to me
All my wildest dreams came true

I need no soft lights to enchant me
If you would only grant me..
the right ..

to hold you ever so tight
And to feel in the night
The nearness of you..

Sweet Demure Me?!!

Being outspoken is not a valued virture to have for a girl in the eyes of a guy.

Blamed it on protecting their ego, chauvanistic nature and whatever manly traits that guys seem so afraid of getting bruised by girls, through experience, the race that seems to have the most problem with more outspoken girls are chinese guys. Don't believe me? Look at all the taiwanese soaps or most of the chinese soaps you have on tv nowadays. All the girls in question have long flowy hair, looks godamm sweet and are able to make googly eyes at their manly male counterparts. Please don't even try to protest that some of them are pretty tough as well, (gd eg. Meteor Garden's Shan Cai).. come on, she LOOKS sweet as well right?

To quote an anonymous guy friend ..or rather a consenses of several guy friends, they say that having a girlfriend who is more simple minded is more assuring to their ego. One said that once he dated a girl who discussed so much philosophy with him that he freaked out (because he have no opinions of this subject of his own at all) and he spent the next 3 days shivering in panic beneath his blankets in his bed.

That's why he prefers girls that preferbly have lesser opinions than he does .

Him: "What do you want to eat?"
Her: *simpers and smile sweetly* " I don't know, up to you."
Him:"What do you want to do later?"
Her:*simpers and smile sweetly*" Where ever you want to ."
Him:" Great movie huh?"
Her*simpers and smile sweetly*"Ya loh..hehe"

I don't know about you but I find that most boring.

One of my girlfriends whose name I can't reveal but I know she'll be reading this you manipulative little minx...hahaha..she always have plenty of opinions of her own when ever we talked and I think of her as a highly interesting individual who have her own mind doesn't compromise that.

I was having coffee with her the other day when her current boyfriend drop by for a while. The moment he arrive, there was a total transformation. Suddenly whatever I asked her, instead of a interesting repartee turned into a boring tittering bimboish monosyllabic answer. The boyfriend on the other hand when I asked for his opinions answered with gusto but frankly not very intelligently. Her reaction to his answer is just smiling sweetly at him and keeping her mouth shut while her boyfriend rattle on and on about his somewhat chauvanistic theories.

Her explanation after he left is that he does not like girls that are too opinionated. The first and only time she try to express her own views is rewarded with a flustered disapproving visage, but she likes him enough to swallow her opinions to herself..and also through experience she has know that if she wants to get a guy to notice her, sweet and simpery she must and sweet and simpery she shall be.

Up to date she has attracted 27 guys using this method since january by contrast of only 10 in total last year.

See my point.

Of course some of you will protest "not all guys like that what!" Before you turn around to spit that in my face please remember its impossible to have anything in entirety. Of course not all guys are like that lah!

"A lot only mah"

"Demurly",
Sweet Samantha