idiotic fallacies

"My heart is a brothel, it has many rooms." - said by a philandering character in Gabriel Garcia Marquez's books... when one simply likes too much things, this is the

Saturday, August 07, 2004

The Lessons Of MLM and outdoor sales

If you are one of the rare few who haven't heard of MLM, (which is like 1 in 1000,000 people age over 12..) it stands for Multi Level Marketing.

Which for your benefit I will now explain what is it about you SUA KU!

In case you guys forgot how a tree diagram looks like this is a sample!

Let's just say that your friend persuade you to join the company and you become your friend's downline. You manage to get some friends to join as well and they became your downline. Whatever they sell, you will get a certain percentage. Likewise, whatever you sell, your upline will get a certain percentage. And whatever downline's downlines sell, no matter how extended it is, as long as it links up to you, you will get a cut as well.

Oh and have I mentioned the car incentive where if you attained this certain number of points through your sales, you will get this lump sum of money to buy a car where most of those.. or rather the few that succeeded buy a SLK convertible?!?!?!

Sounds good right? Like a man being sensitive and caring and perfect and in love with us totally ..a hunk to boot and not being gay.. it is too good to be true..

That is why most people are either trying to succeed in the business or dabble in it before, dreaming then that it was really that easy.

Of course if it was really that easy you would see a lot of millionaires by now.

Let me now talk about the wonderful lessons I've learnt from MLM which can be applicable and highly usable in our everyday.. or not so everyday lives.

First, you want to psycho a friend to join an organisation (or a cult..) and you know that if you tell your friend the truth beforehand,he or she will definitely refuse to join. Just say that you just want to meet them to la kopi and "talk".

Preferably at a kopitiam near the designated place where you and the rest of the "members" hang out and can sufficiently persuade him or her to join through group pressure and the overwhelming pressure.

Remember, just give whatever excuse you can to get your friends out.

Lie, lie, lie.

As long as your objective is achieved. Just lie.

How about setting up a business then?

First, get a product that is of aceptable quality and marketbility. Persuade a group of friends to be really damm enthusiatic about it. Go spread the love and convince others of your absolute faith, belief and undying devotion and amazement of such a FANTASTIC product.

It's the sheep's theory. As long a group of people says something is good it must be good.

They will cave in and go with the flow before they know what hit them.

How about outdoor sales then?

Oh its just carrying bags of overpriced small products around singapore and persuading people to buy them.

I had the fun experince of it whenI was 16. It was a school holiday job.

You travel around and just ask people to buy them. Hawkers, stores, office buildings. As long there's people no place is too ulu for us to whack.

Oh yea, objective: lie.

Here's the speech: "Hi mdm, sorry to bother your time, I'm just here doing a promotion for Takashimaya/Popular...*insert any recognisable name*. We are doing a test market right now. Only have 100 piece to sell! It'll be launched next month at $69.90 but now for the test market, we are only selling it for $10! REally $10! How many sets do you want? 1 set? 2? Thank you!"

Sooooo fake right? hahaha.. and the presumptuous "thank you" at the end.. but that is what they teach at the training.

Oh another motivating phrase, "Every no brings you closer to a yes." Its to motivate the promoters not to give up..see.

Its not a job that I would ever go back into, but I don't regret trying coz it has been fun. :) sneaking into office buildings using the carpark lifts.. talking to all kinds of people ..had my first encounter of night life, beers and karaoke through afterwork activities with colleagues...

Ok, lessons learnt: ALways maintain a smile and act that your day has been great after going back to the office at the end of the day... even if you had sold zilch. Its like bloody cadecott hill there.

YOu will have more effective communication if you replicate that's fellow's way of talking. Not only will it make the fellow feel more at ease with you, he most probably can understand you better.

eg. of a wrong example: speaking posh english to a ah pek drinking tiger at a kopitiam.

eg. of a right example: "Halo Unnn ge! Ni hao ma!"

......TO be honest I start off with a lot more ideas than this.. but after that hour just now of finding a photo off the net and painstakingly decorate it so beautifully I'm dead beat now plus my mind is starting to go "uhhhh..."*visualise brain drooling for visual effects*

..I know I said I was tired.. but i couldn't resist.

I need sleep now..

I know you believe me.

I know you do.

You do right?

Tell me you do.


You do right?

I'm in a lame mood arn't I.

Why are you reading this then?

Is it that you find this ..captivating?

Sexy? Seductive? Irrrrrrisistable?

Ah shit, what is the topic of this blog again?

*scrolls up to see*

Oh yes.. er.. I think I got it covered before this digression already right?

Good night..

*knock out*



Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home