On the Subject Of Hair

I am one woman with one great failing.I will just crumple and breakdown if my hair doesn't look good. Pimples,fine,but if facing a bad hair day,boy,you sure do not want to get close to me that day!

Recently,I was bemoaning to my friend that I lament the loss of freedom to style my hair when reminiscing the past when i used to have short short hair and can jolly well style it in any goddamn way i please. Stylish,sassy,cool. This was not meant to be anymore as I've move on to artificial straight hair - rebonded hair which only spells one thing to me. Totally lack of character. Why then you may ask did I not just chop my hair off and went off merrily with my new short sassy hair? Its simply because I can't bear to.

Only once did i ever have long 'flowy' locks which was when I'm about 9years old. I remember sitting in the hair salon and the auntie asking me,"Girl ah,you sure you want to cut your hair ah? so long and nice,very saiyang (pity) leh!With a nonchalant look I just gave a shrug which just means "go ahead,i don't care look" on my face. The auntie gave another sad pitiful look at my hair (that time I do have hair that look like those out of a hair commercial) and bravely took the first snip. Ever since then,I've never looked back. I've experimented with as much short hairstyles as i possibly can.You name it,I've tried it...except crew cut and mohawk.

One fine day, I've decided that hey,I sick and tired of the shortness,soon I was envying those girls with smooth long hair,be it straight or in curls.It was sensual,it spells woman.Beside a good friend of mine who had such heavenly venus-like locks,I felt..butch.unfeminine. That's when I decided to grow out my hair and regain my flagging sex appeal. (never underestimate the power of self motivation...or delusion)

Well,it took me 3 long years and 6 rebonds for my hair to grow to the current length,which touches just below my bra strap. Needless to say,I was delighted. I feel feminine,no longer do i feel butch anymore,but as the wise always says nothing is perfect.I've lost the sassy attitude that always goes well with short hair.With long hair,its all about the "gentle approach",now,I was envying another friend of mine who have short sassy hair which she would use wax to style everyday into this cool "wind blown" look.She look cool, stylish...arrgh..the epitome of modern woman. Beside her,I feel boring, trendless, uninteresting, characterless...

Human beings are never satisfied with what they have isn't it? We always yearn for something more,something that others have and we don't. Things that we feel that can bring a change to ourselves and when we finally got it and do change,we give all the credit to the material thing that we've gained not knowing that it was in us all along to do it. Envy can be constructive as long as you make it a motivation than something that breeds hate,obsessive incontentment and unhappiness.

What's the story for me and the "hairy issue" then? I've decided to ignore that urge to cut my hair,and as a compensation, I've decided to curl my hair by June.It'll be a new look again.